Sunday, June 30, 2019


(Yes, there are dirty pictures, but you have to read down to the bottom(ish) of the page to see them!)

I have not written a post in FOREVER, have I?

Stuff has been going on, you guys. I have lots of stuff to talk about. Changes here, changes there, changes, changes everywhere!

And not a single one of them has been bad. Well, okay, that's not true. Two of them have been bad.

One of them is that my love has real life going on. I won't get into it because it's his story, not mine, but he's temporarily away from SL. I miss him, of course. I love him to the moon, and stars, and galaxies beyond. That absolutely hasn't changed. I'm an extremely lucky woman, but yeah, of course I miss him, and that's all I'm saying on that subject. I love my man, we're still together, and we're still in a good place.

The other shitty thing that has happened is that my libido died, and I wasn't entirely sure I was going to be able to resurrect it. I know it's perfectly normal, but this time it scared me a little. You see, I turn 50 in a few months. FIFTY!! How the hell did THAT happen? So, yeah, this time when my libido took a dive, it frightened me a bit. I don't ever want to lose my sex drive.

I knew panicking about it wasn't going to help so I threw myself into other things. Non-sexual things. PG rated things. I moved onto one of the new houseboats on Bellisseria (more about that in another blog post) and started hanging out on the SL forums, which are absolutely PG. Hell, I've even been spending a lot of time at the SL birthday celebration.

By the way, it's pretty freaking cool. You should totally go check it out.

Living on Bellisseria has taught me something. There are people in Second Life who don't have sex.


I know, right?? What the hell do they do with their time??

Oh, they go to thinks like the SL birthday celebration and hang out on the forums.


I wanted my libido back. I needed it to come back.

My sexual self is a huge part of who I am. I have enjoyed exploring other things, and I'm not going to stop doing that, but I desperately needed to get back my urge to fuck. For the last few months, Finn has been the only person able to make me orgasm, and that includes myself.

And no, I don't consider it masturbating when I'm having sex with Finn because I absolutely don't feel like I'm alone.

But he hasn't been around in a few weeks. I had no orgasms. I. Had. No. Orgasms.

Not even an urge for an orgasm. Not even tempted to go out and about in SL and find someone to fuck. No urge to watch porn. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Zero. Zilch.

Something happened last night and I don't know what. It was late, I wasn't online, and was watching Hulu or something. And... there was a little twinge down below. Just a little... I don't know. A glimmer of hope because I started to get a tingle in my girly bits.

I wasn't going to let that pass me by without trying to do something about it. First time in far too long that I was feeling any sort of arousal. THANK GOD.

I pulled up some porn. The good stuff. I grabbed the Hitachi because... well, really, I just wanted to cum. I didn't need any finesse. I went straight for the big gun.

Y'all, it was not easy. Sometimes you have to work for an orgasm and that really isn't fun. Even though it was actually really very difficult to do, I fucking stuck with it. Me, my Hitachi, and some porn.

God damn it, I was going to have an orgasm if it killed me.

It took a good half an hour, and if you know me at all, you know it never takes me half an hour to orgasm. Hitachi on the clit, porn on the computer... change the porn, stop for a minute, start new porn, Hitachi back on the clit... repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

But by god, I did it. It wasn't my best orgasm... I can't even say it was a good orgasm, but it was a fucking orgasm all the same.

And you know what? That's all I needed. Just that one. I slept long and deep afterwards. I woke up today feeling fabulous. I did things, like finally get my Bellisseria X group active (more about that in another post, too).

And best of all, I did this.
It is really, really, really good to have really, really, really good friends.

Nat and Jude are two amazingly good friends. Old friends, though we went our separate ways for a couple of years, but we've repaired our friendship and it's wonderful. 

And these two were there for me tonight in a big way. I literally burst onto their houseboat without warning and shamelessly came on to them because I WAS FUCKING AROUSED and needed to do something about it.
I love these two. I seriously do. They are so good for me and gave me exactly what I needed from them.

I don't consider myself bisexual. I don't consider myself straight, either. I like who I like. I'm attracted to who I'm attracted to.

Nat is fucking hot. She's gorgeous and kind and funny. I wanted to make her cum all over my face.

I wanted cock and I wanted pussy. They gave me both.
God, you guys... these two.

Jude went deep, deep inside me and fucked me hard like I needed. Nat fed me that sweet little pussy of hers and I loved licking her, and kissing her, and making her cum in my mouth.

Tasting her was so fucking delicious. I just lapped it all up and loved it and I absolutely shattered and creamed all over Jude's cock buried so deep inside me.

I needed that so badly.
Nat and Jude have been together longer than any couple I know in SL. They recently celebrated 11 years together. I love being able to bring a little spice into their lives, though they have plenty of fun without me, too.

But they're a really special couple and they are so good to me. Did I mention that I love them?
We had so much fun tonight. It was so awesome to just be able to... god, just fuck. I'm so comfortable and relaxed with them, and I didn't have to hold anything back and it was just raw and fast and wonderful.

I am so damn glad my libido is back! It's time for me to get back up on the proverbial horse and start being ME again.

And I could not be happier about that.

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