Thursday, September 25, 2014

Til Soon...

Damn real life.
Hugh and I are having one of those weeks where real life is getting in the way of seeing each other.
As luck would have it, I'm also rather in heat.
So tonight I went to his place. Even knowing he wasn't here, it still makes me feel close to him. It's my second home... my other sanctuary.
I can sense his presence everywhere... his scent, his light... his very essence.
God, I'm craving him. I want my man.
But he's not here.
He will be, though. And I know he's thinking of me, just as I'm thinking of him.
I jumped in his shower...
I know he was here today. I have the photographic evidence. ;-)
Oh... how sweet of him! He ran the bath for me before he had to leave!
Made sure to take advantage and make sure I was nice and clean before I headed to my next destination.
His bed.
I grabbed his pillow. And a little friend I like to call my Hugh-substitute.
Did a little grinding on the spot I know he rests his head every night.
Thought I'd leave a little of my own essence behind for him...
Sorry, baby. You might need to wash your pillow. And the sheets.

Or not. Your choice. ;-)
All that exploring made me a little sleepy. After some tossing and turning, I was finally able to settle down.
I'm sure he won't mind me staying over tonight. I think this is a fine spot to curl up and drift away to our special place... that place where the real world and this world melt away into one blissful never-ending dream.

Goodnight, my love. Til soon.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Second Thoughts on the Belleza Venus Body

Oh, I still love it... adore it.

Very, very happy to have it and well worth the price!

But now that I've had it a couple of days and have started playing with wearing (or trying) clothes, I'm starting to see a few issues. I've had some questions about it so I decided to post a few pictures to show what I mean.

First off, I'm normally a standard size small in mesh clothes. The clothes I'm wearing in these photos (except the first ones of the jeans) are medium. I've also decreased my butt size to zero.

I played with decreasing my hip size, too, but I started looking like a rail instead of a person. Also, my boobs are pretty small as is... I don't want to make them any smaller. So...
This is my butt (size zero) in my favorite pair of Maitreya jeans. This is the small mesh, but even in the medium, my butt and hips still poked through.

Now with the next alpha layer applied...
The alpha is way too high... would be fine if I was wearing a shirt that covers it, but I like to show my belly. :-)

So I tried the large size jeans...
Er... no.

Next is a simple tank top. This is a medium. The circled parts show where my boobs poke out, and where the vee is, you can see the alpha. Removing that alpha makes me stick out under the boobs.
And here it is from the side... 
Bits of hip sticking out, but when I apply the alpha layer that hides that...
Way too low. Again, it'd be fine with pants that don't show any belly, but... not ideal.

This dress is *almost* perfect...

From the front, it looks great!
And it's nearly almost perfect from the back, too, except for the bits of shoulder that show when I move.
But when you apply the alpha that covers those bits sticking out...
Your neck disappears. Would be fine, I guess, if you have long hair, but I like wearing short hair so it doesn't work for me.

I totally understand that you can't expect the mesh body creators to have the alpha layer appliers so intricate and small and detailed that you can hide your bits right down to each individual pixel... that would be impossible.

But some of these, like the butt layer that is so big that you can't wear low rise jeans or a shirt that shows any belly can easily be fixed, as well as the neck/shoulder issue. 

I guess I can tweak my boobs a bit smaller but when my shape is a standard small and the mediums still don't fit... I don't know. 

To me the best option I've seen so far is the Omega HUD with the clothing layer appliers but then I hate to have to replace my inventory with all new items. And we can't ask all the clothing makers to go back and create Omega appliers for every single thing.

So, no... it's not perfect. But it's an absolutely gorgeous body and I love it. 

Sunday, September 21, 2014

First Thoughts on the Belleza Venus Body

Note: I am NOT a Belleza blogger... I am just a consumer. Also, these photos are unretouched. Wanted to show the body as it looks without editing.
I have been waiting for this body for what seems like forever... When I first heard it was going to be "released soon", I ran to Belleza and bought a brand new skin so that when it came out, I wouldn't have skin matching issues. That was... er... May 24th.  
Today, four months later, I finally have it. And let's be real... it's freaking gorgeous. I tried the demos of the other bodies... Wowmeh before it got pulled, Slink, the one from the Body Shop (who the FUCK came up with that clusterfuck of a pain in the ass HUD shopping bullshit?!)

Maybe it was because I was waiting for the Belleza, but none of those worked for me. They just seemed to be far more trouble than they were worth.

Anyway, I've got my body now. THESE BOOBIES! ZOMG! I love these boobies! I cannot tell you how overjoyed I am that I won't have to mess with the Lolas anymore! The Delicq were a HUGE improvement over the Tangos, but I still couldn't get them small enough... I don't want big giant boobies! I want nice, round, bouncy, NORMAL sized boobies! And now I do! For that alone, this is sooooooo worth it!
And THIS is a gorgeous butt. I did, in fact, try the Phat Azz bullshit and trashed it immediately. Who the fuck thinks that looks good? I'd like a normal butt, please. Thank you, Belleza for giving me one! 
I dig the feets, too... I can't wait until designers start making shoes for them. I love the hands, too. I have a bit of an issue with mesh hands in general, though... not so much the hands, but trying to wear jewelry with them. I have two rings that I wear all the time and everytime you change hands, the rings have to be readjusted. One of them is copyable, so I just need to make a bunch of copies and fit them to each set of hands... my other ring, though, is not copyable. This makes it a huge pain in the ass to change hands, so I just don't do it.

I did buy a second one today, though, so I do have one for the Slink hands and one for the Belleza hands. But until jewelry designers figure out a way to make their jewelry as an applier, this is always going to be an issue.
Then I encountered vagina issues... and as a woman, I hate having vagina issues... ;-)

The photo above is taken with my VAW vagina. It doesn't look bad from this angle... I had a bit of a problem getting the skin to match perfectly but that wasn't such a big deal.

But once I really started looking at it... the fit was all out of whack. From, you know, a head on view of it, legs spread and beaver wide open. I futzed with it for a while... and then started taking apart my vagina. I tried getting rid of the outer lips but then I just had giant labia sticking out.. and even then, in the open position, you could see the Belleza body beneath...

And OMG... as I typed this, I realized I could use the alpha and hide that! So... er... back to the vagina drawing board as it were... so never mind this part.
But, really, this doesn't look bad at all... I ended up getting rid of all visible parts of my VAW except the pubic hair.
I think it looks quite pretty like this.

Depending on my tests with the coochie alpha, this may be what I end up with. Hugh might have to deal with his girlfriend having a snatch that doesn't open... lol.
The biggest problem I found is with the neck... 

See, it's advertised as coming with neck blender tattoos but when I got mine, those weren't included. 
As you can see, there is a terrible seam issue there... it's bad enough that this will be mostly unwearable until that issue is fixed.
I dropped a notecard to Felicity and she got back to me almost immediately. I know she is swamped as shit right now, so I really, really appreciate her getting back to me so quickly. Great customer service will keep me coming back again and again and again. 

The Belleza folks are aware there is a problem and they are working very hard to fix it. Felicity requested these photos from me... if any of you are having the same issue, please send a photo to her. They are trying to gather as much info as they can so they can get a fix in place.

I'm a very bad consumer... I was so damn anxious for this to come out, and was getting irritated with hearing that it was "coming soon" for months and months and months... and then when I got it and found this issue, I got mad all over for them releasing it before this was fixed.

But honestly, with the right WL settings, the seam isn't all THAT noticeable (okay, maybe it is...) but it won't stop me from using this body for photos until it's all smoothed out.
I haven't really tried it with clothes yet... it's too pretty to cover up. I did try with a pair of pants and my butt stuck out the back of them... would have been fine if I wasn't trying to show my belly but I know I have to shrink my butt size to fit them and I just didn't want to bother playing with my shape. 

Besides... why would I want to wear clothes over this? LOOK AT THOSE TITS!

So... first impressions... a couple of minor issues. But damn, this thing is fabulous. I really, really can't wait for designers to start making clothes and shoes and nails!

Definitely worth the wait. 

Mother-Fucking Princess

 Yesterday, Hugh and I celebrated our eight monthiversary.
This isn't just a record for me, you guys... this is... oh, hell, I admit everything else on here. I might as well admit this, too. This is really sort of a RL record for me, too.
I have never been good at relationships. Ever. I grew up in a house full of men and a mom who, though simply amazingly wonderful, was far beyond teaching me all the silly rules and tricks and crap that goes into snagging a man. I never knew how to flirt, or play hard to get, or any of that other stuff that comes innately to most women.
In a way, looking back now at age 45, I probably missed out on a lot.

Oh, don't get me wrong... I dated. I dated a lot. And I gave it up a lot. Once I discovered sex, I gave that shit away like candy for a while. I was a gorgeous, long-legged filly and all the fellas came calling but the thing is, I didn't realize it. I was a tomboy, and though I very badly wanted to be a femme fatale, I just didn't know how to go about doing that.
As a result, I dated a lot, I fucked a lot, but I couldn't keep anyone interested in the long-term. As most of you know, I struggled with depression and had terrible self esteem. So there were no real long term relationships for young Beth.
With age comes wisdom, and now, looking back, I'm pretty happy things turned out how they did. Had I known how to keep a guy, I'd probably be married with a herd of children, still living in the same small town I grew up in. I wouldn't have experienced all the things I have, traveled (and lived) in the places I've been.

I'd have been trapped in a life that wouldn't have suited this Beth at all.
So in retrospect, I'm very glad that instead of being taught to be a girly-girl, my mom taught me to be independent.
I'm settled in my life. I have an amazing family that loves me unconditionally. I have wonderful friends and I job that fulfills me in a way few get to experience.

I pay my own bills, I live alone and depend on no one for material needs.

It does get lonely sometimes. Not enough to make me go out and about in the real world seeking a partner, but I've always felt a bit like something was missing. Someone was missing. That someone to shoulder the burden with me, to listen to me, to love me... all of me... with my oddities and quirks and inherent weirdness.
Someone that accepts me for me... a man who doesn't want me to change because he loves me as I am.

Someone I can talk to about anything and everything without judgement. Someone I can be goofy and stupid with. Or talk about religion and politics and other topics that aren't discussed in polite conversation. Someone I can laugh with.
And as hard as it is for people outside of Second Life to understand (impossible really), that's where I found it. Right there in Second Life.
We are both getting something we desperately need out of our relationship... different things for both of us, but what we have fulfills something that we were lacking.

And we've got it without it screwing with the real world. Neither of us want that. We're both of an age where we have no desire to rock the boat, as it were, outside of Second Life.

That doesn't make our relationship any less real. It's very real. The feelings are real, the love is real.
Does it spill out into our real lives? Yes, a bit. Those feelings aren't turned off when we log off. I know there are a lot of people who treat SL as a game, and that's fine for them... but neither of us do that.
My best friend (RL) knows about Hugh and SL. She absolutely doesn't get it at all. Even knowing both of our situations, she can't comprehend why we have no plans, no desire, to meet in the real world.

By her reasoning, if our relationship is so perfect online, why on Earth would we not want to throw caution to the wind and go for it.

Because there is no way... no way... what we have could survive in the real world. We both know that.
We would literally be throwing everything away for a chance at something that couldn't be the same as it is in the world we've created in SL.

The real world is messy and complicated. It's wonderful, too. We're both very happy people in our real lives and I don't think we'd be as happy together in SL if we weren't. We know each other's real life selves even though we've never met. If we walked past each other on the street, we would recognize each other immediately.

We don't keep our real lives hidden from each other... but we do keep them separate.
I sort of accidentally combined two posts into one with this. 

On one hand, it was going to be about how this incredible man makes me feel so very treasured... how he lets me know every single moment that I'm his woman, and that he's incredibly proud of me. Even more than a princess, he makes me feel like the queen of fucking everything.

On the other hand, this was going to be about how this whole thing works for us. I know we're not unique... there are plenty of other SL couples who are in the same, or similar, boats. But it's unique to me... to us. Trying to explain the unexplainable beauty of it. 

Second Life peeps will understand... that's the club we're all in together. This world where anything is possible and there is nothing to hold us back from embracing all we desire. We can be ourselves in a way that we can't in the real world with all its pitfalls and pratfalls. 

Aren't we lucky? Isn't it amazing? 

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