Friday, January 30, 2015

We Memed!

So Hugh and I decided to do Berry's meme this week. The task was to turn our avatars into movie characters.

This was really the first time Hugh and I have collaborated on any sort of photography project... and OH MY GOD, we had a blast putting it together!

He came up with the theme, built the set and created all the lighting... I provided the bed, the ceiling fan and the pose, which we had to tweak just a little bit. Really, this was mostly all Hugh's work... with the set and the lighting, as well as coming up with the idea... and doing the photography and the editing. Really, I just wore a blonde wig and posed.

Here's what we were going for...
And here's the final version we (he) came up with... 
I think we (he) did pretty damn good!

And we had such such fun making this, we'll be doing more!

Thanks, Berry, for planting this wonderful idea in our heads!

Sunday, January 25, 2015

My Greatest Gift

This magnificent beast is Pickles. She's my amazing anniversary gift from my beloved.
She loves water as much as I do!
I cannot tell you how much I love this horse. But, being me, I'm going to try anyway!
I grew up in Kentucky, and aside from my ten year stint on the west coast, it's where I've lived all my life. We're sort of known for our horses here... and bourbon. Oh, and fried chicken.
As a little girl, I desperately wanted a horse. Though I grew up in a small town, we were city folks and, being the youngest of eight kids, a horse just wasn't in the budget.
Exploring together.
But, god, I wanted a horse. I cried for a horse. But it wasn't meant to be. I've never stopped loving horses, though. They're just such beautiful creatures.
So naturally I started looking at horses in Second Life. I found this beauty, and oh, did I want her. But holy crap... HOLY CRAP, the price! I just couldn't justify carving that much out of my budget for her.
But I never stopped going to visit her, and riding her on the tiny little test parcel of land the creator has set up.
And my man didn't forget how much I loved this horse, even though I stopped talking about her after a while. Much like in real life, I just didn't think it was meant to be.
Not just no, but HELL NO. We left pretty quickly!
I was so surprised. I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. I have my horse! My beautiful, beautiful Pickles! I am so in love with this precious thing!
He got one for himself, too... a beautiful stallion named Opus. Can you guess where the names came from?

We're going to have so much fun riding together, exploring. Every day with Hugh is just such a gift.
A kiss for my girl.
Thank you, baby... thank you so much for the greatest gift I've ever received in my life. And that's the gift of having you. The gift of your love. And, yeah, Pickles is a damn close second! ;-)
She's an amazing addition to my life... letting me live my dreams of having my own horse!
I would say that I couldn't be happier... but everytime I think that, my man proves me wrong by making me happier than I ever thought possible, day after day after day. For more than a year now!
How did I get so lucky? I don't know. Don't care. All I know is that I love every second of my life. And I love sharing it with you, baby. Thank you. xoxox

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

I Did Not Remove That Photo

You know what photo I'm talking about... the one that was on my Flickr feed telling a story of a merchant in SL that did me wrong.

(A Tackier Snood Morn)

The representatives of said company seem to have reported me to Flickr. I received a lovely email today from the team at Flickr HQ letting me know that I had violated their community standards... in specific, I was told that I "must not abuse, harass, threaten, impersonate or intimidate other Flickr members" and that they had deleted my screen shot. They told me my behavior was "inappropriate". 

(Draconian Smoke Rot)

I have, of course, disputed this with Flickr. I pointed out that this was not an interpersonal matter as they said it was... that this was a conflict between a consumer and a merchant and let them know that I had done a quick Flickr search for "BP", "boycott", "protest", "Chick-Fil-A", "Wal-mart" and "Nestle", the latter of which was repeatedly accused of killing babies, and that there were far more inflammatory, derogatory and downright libelous statements made on Flickr than my little gripe.

(American Door Knots)

I also pointed out that though this particular merchant doesn't have a brick-and-mortar shop due to being virtual, they were still a real company dealing in very real currency. I did not abuse or harass anyone. I didn't threaten anyone. I certainly didn't impersonate anyone or intimidate anybody. I simply posted an original photo I took and the context behind the photo. I informed Flickr HQ that I could find nothing in the guidelines provided to show that I had broken any rule. 

(Incarnate Dorks Moo)

It remains to be seen whether they'll take up the issue. And, really... my issue isn't so much with Flickr as it is with the Store That Must Not Be Named. 

(Sacrament Odor Oink)

It says a lot about a company who, instead of defending their practices, chooses to go the route of trying to censor their detractors. I didn't lie... I posted an update as soon as I received the product. I didn't call names. I didn't make false accusations. I posted my story of a purchase I made, the initial failure to deliver the product, my ignored request for a refund and my interactions with the merchant and my views of the customer services I received.

(Maniac Snorted Rook)

The store is clearly hiding something. They are trying very hard to keep the unknowing from knowing the shoddy way they treat their customers. The seem to have a corner on the market for what they sell and that is a damn shame.

(Croatian Dork Omens)

As a person living in a country where corporations are starting to gain more rights than individuals, I won't back down. I don't care whether it's a Forbes 500 company, or a tiny little virtual store in a virtual world. Real dollars are involved... the dollars I work hard to earn and when I spend those dollars, I expect certain things- like, you know, the product actually being delivered. 

(Marinade Crook Snot)

I'm not an unreasonable person. I understand that glitches happen. I didn't post my complaint within minutes of not receiving my item. It took around 36 hours to receive it, with a poor explanation and no apology. 

(Mandrake Coon Riots)

And at the end of the day, that's all I wanted. An apology and an explanation for how this situation would be handled in the future. It seems to be a known glitch with their vendor system and I absolutely get that. But as a known glitch, there are easy ways to avoid having that issue come up. 

(Damnations Rock Ore)

Hearing from others that have had similar, or worse, problems than I had leads me to believe that this is not an isolated incident and that the owners of this store have a track record of not delivering items and extremely poor customer service. And I believe the public has a right to know this. 

(Radioman Cone Stork)

Everything in Second Life is "buyer beware" and we take chances every time we give anyone one single linden. 

(Animator Cork Nosed)

I stand by my words that are now gone from Flickr. Perhaps I should have posted my story here rather than on Flickr in the first place. The reason I host this blog on Blogger is because of their commitment to free speech and their policy of not censoring people unless content is illegal or threatens violence. 

(Karma Cod Serotonin)

And, no, I didn't post the name of the company here. I'm not sure why I'm not, though I suppose I'm actually a little intimidated by their harassment of me on Flickr. Does that mean they won? Not by a long shot. My story was read by enough people that I know I've succeeded in warning others of this company's unsavory practices and poor customer service. 

(Amnesiac Dork On Ort)

And if you missed the Flickr post and really want to know who it is, well... how good are you at anagrams?

(Tsarina Coked Moron)

Monday, January 19, 2015

Please Pardon the Intrusion...

"You were made perfectly to be loved - and surely I have loved you, in the idea of you, my whole life long." - Elizabeth Barrett Browning
I sat down tonight to tell Archie the story of how Mom and Dad met.
Because, hey, it's our anniversary! Or, at least, tomorrow is.

I don't need to tell you guys... if you've been a reader of my blog you know a bit of the story of Beth and Hugh... at least, all that I'm going to share with the public!

I could have never imagined a year ago where I'd be today. Looking back at my blog, I see where I was this very night (the night before) and the blog post I wrote that inspired Hugh to finally contact me.
Holy shit! I had no idea what was in store for me! Such a ridiculously unfair amount of happiness that I almost feel guilty for being so damn blissed the fuck out for 365 days and counting.
January 20, 2014 at 8:12am SLT... it started so innocently.

"Please pardon the intrusion, Beth, we haven't actually met..."

And that's where our story began.
This man never wavers, never falters, in his love for me. He has brought such lightness to my world. Joy, laughter, bliss. Serenity. Peace. Comfort. Safe harbor.
We've had sad times, trying times, ridiculous times, hilarious times, rapturous times. Sometimes I'm not the easiest nut to crack. He's never walked away from me.
I didn't know it could be like this. I didn't understand that love could be so easy... effortless. Even if I'm having a bad day... and I've had my share this year... all I have to do is close my eyes and feel his love wrapped around me, and I know that no matter what, I can handle anything because I am loved by a man who is... he's just the very best there is.
We're never going to meet in the real world... and that's okay. It's not needed. The way we love, the way we give to each other, the story we're creating and living... it's what we need and want. It's perfect for us. 
I love you, Hugh Person. And I'm thrilled to have this time with you... the previous year, and the new one we start tomorrow. 

It's our world, baby. 

Sunday, January 18, 2015

I'm Six Years Old Today!

Well, Beth Macbain is six years old in Second Life today anyway...

It would have passed unnoticed if I hadn't received an email from the Avatar Social Network letting me know.

This seems to be as good a time as any to do a little reflection.

What is my Second Life? What has it become? How have I changed in the last six years?
I was going to post my story here... the story of Beth Macbain and her evolution, but I don't really think that's interesting to anyone but me, and I already know the story.

I want to look at what Second Life is for me now.

We all come to Second Life for an infinite variety of reasons. The reasons are as unique as we are, and it's not for us to judge anyone for what they're here for and who they choose to be. I don't understand some of those reasons, but that's okay. I don't need to.

I just need to know me, and my reasons.

And for the past year, that reason is Hugh.

My rez day is coincidentally almost coinciding with our one year anniversary. We first met on January 20, 2014. And what a year it's been! We have both evolved so much, and continue to, together and separately in Second Life.

And though the vast majority of our time inworld is spent together, it's important for both of us to remember that Second Life is merely a fraction of our individual realities. It's a small slice of time taken out of our real worlds.
And it's amazing. It's a beautiful and precious slice, but still a small one in the grand scheme of things.

Are we lost in each other? No. Maybe. Is there room for other people in our second lives? Yes. But when it comes right down to it, we never have more fun than when we're with each other. I make no apologies for that.

As I said, Second Life is different for everyone. Some are here as gamers, some are business people. Some are furries, some are builders and scripters, some are anthromorphs, some are strippers and escorts, some are Mr. and Mrs. Jones, with a white picket fence and children and cousins and siblings and Moms and Dads.

And though I may not understand why they choose to be what they are, and spend their time inworld doing what they do, I respect them and their choices.

And all I ask of others is that they do the same for me. And for Hugh.

And the choices we make both separately and together.
We don't actually get to spend all that much time together, though it may seem like we do. We grab our time when we can. It's the choice we've made... to be together when the opportunity arises.

It's not for everyone, and that's fine... it's for us. It's what we want... and really, when you start living your second life according to what others want from you, and who they want you to be, what's the point of even being here?

I have real world responsibilities... I'm indebted to others. It's part of life. I work, I pay bills, I make time for my family and my friends. And within that framework of responsibilities, I've made time for myself, to be the person I want to be.

Part of that me time is Second Life. Not all of it, not by a long shot. But since that's the little slice we're talking about here, that's where I'm focusing right now. My Second Life time is mine... I refuse to spend that time doing anything other than what I want to do.
Often times, I prefer being alone. I love to shop, and just putter around my house. I love taking photos. As introverted as I am in the real world, I am in Second Life, too. I abhor drama and anytime you venture out and spread your circle, drama becomes inherent.

I do not want that in my second life. I just don't. It made me leave for over a year, and even when I came back, with my first couple of boyfriends before Hugh, it was a constant. Both of those relationships were fraught with angst. Even after I met Hugh, when I was seeing Mick, too, it was heavy and dramatic and angsty and just... ugh.
In the past year, the greatest gift Hugh has given me is the gift of peace... the peace that surrounds him, that he's enveloped me in. Our relationship is easy... our love is easy. It's natural... we've grown closer together every day in our little world we've created. We have fun. We're dorks. We laugh. I'm free with him... free to be myself, as he is with me.

Maybe we do cocoon ourselves when we're online together. We have this small slice that's just for us. We both have friends, acquaintances, hobbies, but when it comes down to it, our time together is paramount to us. And as such, this little world of ours has become something unexplainable to other people.

And it makes me happy.

And I believe it makes him happy.
And those two little things... my happiness and his happiness... are the most important things to me.

And after six years of living, and growing, and searching... I'm exactly where I want to be.

It's not a place I ever imagined I needed or would find. It's even unexplainable to me sometimes. I don't know how it happened... all I know is that it did, and I have peace. I have joy.

I never, ever log onto Second Life with a feeling of dread... If I don't feel like logging in, I don't. Because it has to be fun.

And it is fun. Shopping is fun. Dancing is fun. Photography is fun. Music is fun. Venturing out and meeting people and talking with my friends is fun... even if those people are sometimes held at arm's length. And I confess I do that. Because though I have many interests, I have one single priority and that is my amazing love... my fun love.
I simply don't have the will, or the energy, for anything that becomes a drain on me... To me, it defeats the purpose of being in Second Life. And though I understand that people have things that happen... things they need a friend for, I'm not going to spread myself thin in an attempt to keep everyone happy, all the time. It's not my responsibility... I'm sorry, it just isn't. There is one person who I strive to make happy, other than myself, of course. And that isn't something that is a drain on me... it isn't even something I have to work at... it's natural. It feeds my own happiness. My pleasure is his, as his is mine. 

And it's fun. Sailing with him is fun, dancing with him is fun, sex with him is fun... and just talking, sharing our stories and our lives is fun. 

It isn't that I'm not concerned with the happiness of others... I am. Hell, I want every single person on the planet to be happy. But as much as I want it for everyone, I can't be responsible for it. I tried for years to do that in the real world... and god, it's a heavy burden. In doing that, in always placing others before myself, I found nothing but misery. I didn't know my own identity because for all my life, it was wrapped up in others. And (with the help of my little happy pill) I came out on top of all that. I learned balance. I am kind... I try to do good, to be good. But I also make sure that I'm keeping myself happy, too.  I'm seeking that balance in Second Life... but I am, admittedly, far more selfish in Second Life than I am in the real world.

Because this is my Second Life. And it's taken me six years to get here. I don't know what the next years hold... I don't even know what tomorrow holds. Or hell, even later this afternoon!

But it's mine... and I choose to share every bit of it with one person. I share bits and pieces with many, many others, but he gets all of it. 

And that's just the way it is. And it's ideal. For me, it's ideal. And isn't that what our second lives should be?

I like who I am. It's taken me 45 years to get here... six years of that as Beth Macbain in Second Life, but that line between who I am in both worlds with very, very blurred. Beth is Beth. 

And I like Beth. I love Beth. And sometimes being Beth involves a bit of selfishness and I've earned that. I never, ever set out with the intention of hurting anyone, ever. But sometimes that's a consequence of that little bit of selfishness I embrace. 

But, god, I deserve that selfishness... after so many years of being so utterly selfless to the point it damn near killed me, I deserve it. Beth Macbain is that outlet... it's this tiny little slice of my universe that is all mine. And I have selfishly chosen to share that slice completely with Hugh. This tiny little snippet of time... for however long I live on planet Earth, Second Life is just a piece... a small piece, and a wonderful, wondrous piece. 

I deserve that, damn it. It the balance of the seconds of my life, the minutes, days, weeks and years, I deserve this tiny piece to bring me joy. I'm 45 years old. Beth Macbain is six years old. Of that six years, the actual hours I've spent inworld are a tiny fraction of that six years.

And I won't live that tiny fraction being beholden to anyone other than Hugh. Because it makes me happy. This tiny fraction of my life that I've reserved just for me... if there isn't room for what anyone else needs from me, so be it. This tiny fraction is mine, and it's Hugh's. It's ours.

So be it.

Happy Rez Day to me. :-)))

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Oh What A Night...


So I decided to try something a little different last night.
It's no secret that Hugh and I have a quite breath-taking sex life. And while I tend to be a little on the submissive side, I'm not a submissive, and Hugh... well, I hesitate to even say he's usually the dominant partner in bed because that's really not accurate. We feed off each other... we feel what the other needs. He knows when I need him to take the lead, and I know when he needs me to take the reins and pull him over the precipice with me.

And it's not even a conscious decision on either of our parts... it just is. We feed off each other and we both take sublime pleasure in the other's pleasure.

That said, again... I'm not a submissive and he's not a Dom. And neither of us are into role play... we are Beth and Hugh, and we're equal partners.

But last night...
Hugh found me at Naked Bondage waiting for him. I wasn't sure how things would go... if he'd want to play the game I'd set up, or if we'd both end up tickled at the whole situation. Would he be able to dom me... and would I be able to be the submissive?

Er...

Yeah... that would be a yes. That man has a never-ending treasure trove of surprises up his sleeve. The ease in which he slid in the the role of my Sir.... shudders deliciously

He quickly established the rules... I wasn't to ask questions. He made sure I knew that I'd put myself in this position, and that he would be the only one to let me out of it.
And that boot... grinding slowly against my pussy. God.

Handing him the "keys to the cuffs" and letting him have complete control over me... it was dark, and decadent. I couldn't stop trembling. My nipples, trapped beneath that fishnet, swelling and aching. My cunt, so creamy and my clit throbbing in time with my pounding heartbeat as he made certain I knew exactly who I belonged to, always and forever his.
He took a very sadistic delight in cranking the chains tighter and tighter, suspending me in the air for his amusement, squeezing my ass... pinching my nipples, twisting them between his fingers and biting me... my neck, my ears, my lips.
I was, as he took joy in pointing out, a mess. He'd barely touched my pussy... cupping it in his warm palm to feel the sloppy evidence of what he was doing to me, though he already knew as the scent of my sex filled the air. He knew I was beyond the point of sanity... my body was a live wire, thrumming with barely contained electricity, arcing between the two of us.
My man loves the taste of my pussy. Don't think for one second that he was allowing me to fall over the edge when you see his face buried between my thighs. He was feeding himself... drinking from my flowing cunt. Teasing and poking the tip of his tongue between my slick folds, nudging my aching clit but never letting me fall.
I was thrashing on the chains... tugging and pulling and begging. Please, god, let me cum. Baby, I need to cum... but no. He just pulled aside the latex and circled by tight little pucker, tickling and tormenting me with that tongue of his.
The urge to beg him to stop the game and just... god, just love me, fuck me..  let me cum... was starting to overwhelm me. My "sirs" became "baby, please" and "Hugh... honey...please".
So he shoved his cock down my throat to shut me up.

As if that helped.

As much as he loves the taste of my pussy, my need for the flavor of his cock is never fully satisfied, never abated. I physically crave his cock, 24/7. Giving Hugh a blowjob is just as much for me as it is for him. We both love when I have his cock in my mouth, and my hand buried in my pussy... just a flick of my clit is all it takes to send me shattering into orgasm when I've got his dick in my mouth.
And he knows this, too... with my hands chained above my head, it wasn't possible for me to cum while he was fucking my throat. All the way... every inch, his balls bouncing off my chin, my nose buried in his pubic hair.

God.

I'm his good girl and I sucked and sucked and sucked until he just had to be inside my pussy... finally.
He didn't make it easy for me, though. After a few deep thrusts, he took his cock away from me and made me beg... and did I ever.

I was pleading with him to give it back. He made me find it... made me push back and seek the heat of his cock. Made me suck it back inside with my pussy grasping and squeezing and pulling him back home.

And then... only then... did he allow me to cum.
And when I was a spent, ridiculous, spluttering and quivering mess, he put me back on the floor and gave me his gift... his cum, painting my tear-streaked, sweaty, gasping face.
He released the chains and once again we were Beth and Hugh, rather than Dom and sub.

It was good, and it was fun, and we both needed a few minutes to pull ourselves together. And then it was time to leave. With one last growled command for me to stand, we went home.
Though I left the boots on at his request, we needed time to be Beth and Hugh after that. To reconnect on equal footing. To speak the reverent, whispered words we share with no others.
And to make love again... and to revel in that love, as the people we are. As Beth, as Hugh... as the undeniable force we become when we're together. 
These moments, though captured in photos to share, don't show the true intimacy of us... what we feel, the softly spoken words. It's a world unto the two of us. 

Unshakeable, unbreakable. 
And then the damnedest thing happened.

My dearest darling delightful Ellie Rogue had been working on my place and she built this wonderful shallow pond behind my bathhouse. Hugh hadn't seen it yet so we went out to take a look.
And we danced.

With truly terrible 70s classic rock pouring from our speakers, we danced like the dorks we are, splashing and laughing and stumbling, our avatars very poorly aligned and knocking into each other, through each other.
And neither of us ever wanted it to end... we talked and talked and talked and laughed. We were yawning, and making little sense, and neither of us wanted to be the one to give in and pull the plug on this magical night.
Just the two of us.
Our world. Two middle-aged dorks who found each other out of the 7 billion other people on the planet and built this steadfast love that rocks us to our core.
My partner, my dom, my love, my slave, my lover, my best friend.

My Hugh.

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