Monday, August 14, 2017

Priorities

Well, here we are. Me. Michael. Together.

I know that pisses some of you off. 

One thing I've learned in my time on Earth is that unhappy people just can't stand to see others happy. And there are a handful of you out there who have expressed their unhappiness that he and I are a thing. 

And since I've not posted about him in a couple of weeks, I'm sure you unhappy folks were rubbing your hands together in glee assuming that the worst had happened.
Yeah, no, sorry... we didn't break up. 

You see, when you're a fucking adult, there are some times when Second Life needs to take a back burner to real life. And you don't bitch and moan and whine about it, you get on with what you need to do. 

Michael and I have an understanding... as Hugh and I did, as well. Real life comes first, no questions asked. 
Okay... questions are fine. When you care about another human, you ask them about their lives. How about 'no guilt trips' instead? Maybe compassion, understanding and empathy instead?

Michael and I haven't been apart... we've just not been in Second Life together for a couple of weeks. He's had his things to do, and I've had mine, and neither of us would respect each other in the slightest if either of us ignored those things that come first.

Because that would be stupid. Truly.
As much as we might sometimes want it to be, Second Life isn't the real world. For the vast majority of us, it doesn't pay our bills, it doesn't cook our food, it doesn't take care of our families or pets. It doesn't power the electricity, doesn't pay our mortage, and exists in this little box we have on our desks or on our laps.

And it's not going to be there for us when the going gets tough. Yes, some of the people we meet there might be, but if they're that close, there's a damn good chance you have other ways of staying in touch besides SL.
Michael has a far busier real life than I do and his attention and devotion to those things are part of the reason I adore him. I'm not talking about the big life stuff, like when Dad died. I'm just talking about the littler things - a busy stressful week at work, a family vacation, hell, just taking the car in for a tune up or something.

I know there are people in SL who either ignore those things or feel angry about having to deal with them because it cuts into their time in Second Life. And there are also plenty of people who get pissed because their partners or friends have to take time away from SL for the real world.

What. The. Fuck?
I apologize for the quality of these photos... there was a fucking reunion happening!
In the entirety of the circle that is the Life of Michael, I know I don't come first, or even second, or even third. I know I'm damned important to him but if the chips fell, I know where I'd place. And guess what? It's the same on my end.

And that's as it fucking should be. He and I are never, ever going to transition into the real world... neither of us wants that, or needs that. It's odd how I feel like I have to explain that, but... holy shit, some people just don't get it. I have this amazing man in my life and he is truly surprised and appreciative that I don't get angry or give him shit or try to make him feel guilty for not logging in for a couple of weeks.
Life happens. Life happens, or it should. I understand that everyone comes into SL from a different situation... and it's not any of my business what those situations are. But if life isn't happening for you outside of our virtual world, perhaps it's time to log off and go smell some flowers. Get some damn sunshine... go to a yoga class... take the dog for a long walk and do some bonding with the real people in your world.

I knew where Michael was... I knew how he was spending his days. He didn't disappear (THAT is uncalled for with the umpteen million ways we have to communicate outside of SL). Neither of us are people who need to be logged in 24/7.

And that gives us the freedom to keep feeding our relationship. Our friendship. We're real live human beings and we talk about things that have nothing to do with Second Life. We can go a couple of weeks without "seeing" each other in pixel form.
I mean, sure, it's wonderful when we are in SL together... being together that way is the very best, but those little Skype conversations are nearly as cherished and just as important.

And that time when we're not together in SL just makes us stronger. When we're together, it's because we want to be, not because we feel some sort of obligation. Not because we feel like we just have to log in and be together. It's a "YAY! I'm not busy right now and neither are you so lets spend some time together!" It's not always sexual... sometimes it's nothing more than sitting on the couch talking.

And, yeah... sometimes it's "Baby, get naked because it's been two weeks and god damn it, it's time to fuck." Edit: Not an actual quote.
So, yeah... sorry to the folks who were hoping we'd crashed and burned. Mostly, I'm sorry that your lives are so unhappy that you take pleasure in the idea of someone else's misery, real or imagined.

This man, my Michael mother-fucking Stewart, was totally unexpected. And how much fun is that? Lots of fun, let me tell you! A man who has his shit together! Mature! Intelligent! Hilarious! Sexy as hell! A man who's self-worth isn't tied into how many hours he spends logged into Second Life!

Hot diggity damn!
I didn't think lightning was going to strike twice for me after Hugh. I mean, it's been nearly two years and I hadn't found anyone else who really knew how to balance Second Life and real life. It was either all SL, all the time, or just the opposite. Men who I met in SL who wanted to shut it off and exist solely in other chat applications, or on the phone, or on a webcam... or, worst of all, men who wanted to meet in real life.

I don't want that... either of those things. SL is SL and RL is RL. No, I don't role-play as someone I'm not in Second Life, but I do like the separation of the two. I love sex in SL. Love creating that world with someone... and then being able to turn it off, and then back on when the time is right.

Second Life is a beautiful escape from the real world. I look like a goddess, have an unlimited clothing budget, an amazing house, etc., etc., but at the end of the day, I've also got it pretty fucking good in the real world, too. I'm in a good place and I'm probably happier than I should be so soon after becoming an adult orphan but, hey... I paid my dues and have no regrets. I know a lot of people who can't say the same thing.
This... this is my fun. This is where there is no silly drama, or limitations. And I have a man who gets that, and operates under the same principles I do. 

Oh, and he adores me. 

All in all, it's a pretty sweet fucking deal. 

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