Friday, August 4, 2017

On the Subject of Well-Behaved Women...

I want to talk a little about profiles in Second Life.

They are a wonderful, easy way to let others know a bit about us before they decide to click that "send IM" button. A way to show people what we're about, what we're seeking - or not seeking as the case may be.

My biggest pet peeve is when people refuse to put anything on their profile at all, except some trite language about "if you want to know, just ask". Who the fuck has time to have a conversation with every sexy avatar they see? I don't have time for that. With a well filled out profile, I can know up front if I think someone may be a person I might click with.

And I do assume that those people who have empty profiles don't have a good enough grasp on language to express themselves. I'm uninterested in those people.
Second on my list are the people who use text speak or ascii characters. Look, I get it, you're a 12 year old girl and think it's cool. Guess what? It's not. It's annoying as fuck. I certainly don't have the time or inclination to try to decipher whatever the fuck you're trying to say. You think it makes you look unique? It just makes you look like a garbled mess.
My third pet profile peeve is the quotes people use. So, so many repeated and trite quotes. First off, no one has ever found anything anywhere that can definitively prove that Marilyn Monroe ever said anything about accepting her at her worst. Secondly, even if she had said it, Marilyn was a fucking wreck. Thirdly, it's a stupid sentiment. No one should accept me at my worst. I'm the worst when I'm at my worst! Don't accept that shit, don't tolerate it. Really, a person should just be ignored when they're at their worst. No one wants to see that shit.
And let's talk about this one for a few minutes... "Well-behaved women seldom make history." If you're one of those people who also thinks this was a Monroe quote, stop reading this post right now and go read a fucking book.

Now, if you do know that it was, in fact, a quote from a woman named Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, good for you! Ulrich is a Harvard professor. She has won a Pulitzer Prize. She's a devout Mormon. And that damn quote of hers is taken completely out of context.
It's from an article she wrote back in the 70s about Puritan funerals.

Puritan funerals. Let that one sink in for a minute.

This is a fine woman. A wise woman. A feminist. And yes, a Mormon complete with the funny underwear and bizarre set of religious beliefs that include women not going to Heaven unless their already deceased husbands say it's okay.
Do you think for one hot second that she was advocating for women to go out and act up in order to make history? Yeah, no... that's pretty much the complete opposite of what she meant. She was bemoaning the fact that there have been so many truly amazing, great women who have done tremendous things and never got the recognition they richly deserved because they weren't showing their proverbial asses left and right and fucking did behave.

Her work as a historian has been to focus on the boring. The ordinary. Here's a good quote from her that you can use, "I am interested in ordinary objects partly because they’re not supposed to be interesting. I think I’m contrary that way."

Ordinary women. Those are the women she was interested in. The ones who never made it into the history books... at least, not until she came along and shined her own spotlight on them.
So, yeah, it irritates me when I see that quote anywhere, much less on someone's SL profile. The women who plaster it on bumper stickers and t-shirts and profiles have bastardized the true meaning of Ulrich's words and have defined it to mean it's okay to be a brat. Or a bitch.

No, ladies... it's never acceptable to be a bitchy brat. That behavior should never be tolerated. Mocked and scorned? Absolutely. Better yet, it should just be ignored, as you should be when you act a fool.
Perhaps try to have an original thought? Oh, don't go quoting yourself... I've seen that in people's profiles in SL, too. Mostly men, mostly fake doms. Always ridiculous. 

Set some damn standards for yourself and your behavior. Be nude if you want, fuck every man you see if you want. But don't act like a impudent child... and if you do, don't be surprised when people treat you as one, and do as all good parents should do when faced with a child throwing a tantrum, and ignore you. 

Sometimes forever.

And you have no one to blame but yourself.

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