Thursday, August 18, 2016


Well, hell, you guys.

Look what's happened!
His name is Michael... and OH MY GOD.

I had quit looking. Really. I had those three guys and decided that it just wasn't in the cards for me to have ONE again. You know I looked... hell, I built ruined as a place to hopefully find new guys and hopefully fall in love.

And I did... with someone I couldn't have. And fuck, I just resigned myself to sharing. I would always be second, or even third, so if that was the case, I was going to have two or three or four, or however many it took to not make me feel lonely.

And I loved them all... still do. These amazing men that came into my life will always have a place in my heart. Especially Hugh. Always Hugh. There will never be a day I don't love him.
But now... well, damn, people. I was out there playing it fast and loose. Hell, I even whored myself out once. (Just once, I don't see that ever really happening again, I don't think. Never say never, right?)

And I found a new beach to play at, and the first time I went, I had such a good time with not one, but two delightful new lovers I met there. So I went back, and then went back again, and a few more times even.

And then this guy IMed me. Michael. He was familiar to me, as we follow each other on Flickr. And, boy-howdy, did we have a good time together.
So good that I wanted him again. And then again after that. And more. All the men, all the lovers... and suddenly there was something about this guy. This dude I met on a beach. I wanted to be with him, and nobody but him.

Uh oh, right? I've been there before. I fall ass-over-teacups at the drop of a hat. It's like I'm addicted to falling in love.
So what makes this different? I don't know. Or, I do, but it's almost indefinable. And it's a million things.

I could list them all, but that feels... cheap to me. Like I had a checklist of things I wanted in a man and went looking to tick off the boxes. And that's not how it is.

He's not playing at anything. Not trying to rack up notches on his belt. He's just this extremely normal guy. He's comfortable, with himself and to me. He's got his shit together. This is a grown-up, mature, confident but not arrogant, man.
Dat face.
Christ, he's funny. Goofy as fuck. I love that. I love being able to just be the dork I am with him. Or the sex goddess... or any of the other parts of me. He likes me, to quote Mr. Darcy, just as I am. He laughs with me and then makes me orgasm like it's my first time experiencing bliss.

He sends me links to statues of Donald Trump with a micro-penis AND to scientific papers about black holes. He's smart as fuck... and smart enough to be able to admit when he doesn't know something.
He's as content with me while we're taking goofy photos of him in a Big Foot avatar as he is right after he's cum inside me. I'm enough for him. He's not out there looking to get his dick wet just to get his dick wet if I'm not around.

His Second Life isn't all sex clubs and banging. He builds things and makes sets and takes amazing photos and has his own gallery and learns things and sails and has actual interests.

And... now he's mine. And I'm his.

And it's fun. Erotic. Goofy. Sensual. Dorky. Filthy. Nerdy. Wonderful fun.
It's easy. It's comfortable, and comforting. He feels safe... at the end of a long stressful day, he's who I want to talk to, who I want to see. And who I want to be there for, too.

As I write this, we're both in SL, but not. We're lying in a hot tub cuddling and he's off doing some RL things and I'm writing this and we're together but not and it's lovely. Just to be able to switch screens, and see him there, and know that he's enjoying the comfort of knowing I'm there, too, while we're both taking care of other things.

And when we finish those things, we'll... do things. Our things. Talking, laughing, dancing, fucking, whatever. And it'll be fun and easy and drama-free, and later we'll both go to sleep with smiles on our faces.
So what's it all mean? I don't know. We met like a week ago. A week ago?! No... time flies! I just opened our chat transcripts and it's been over two weeks now... lol.

It feels like I just met him, and like I've known him forever.

We haven't said those words yet. Haven't needed to. Haven't felt the urge to rush into labeling it and marking it. It feels too good to worry about those things now. If it's meant to happen, it will.
I'm in a good place. We're in a good place. And we're setting into something that we're both enjoying the hell out of.
And he told me to be sure and mention his penis and his huge tongue when I asked if I could blog about him. RAWR!

1 comment:

  1. Beth! I smiled so much reading this. Thank you for sharing your lows and now hopefully more highs :) best wishes! letoleda x


Recent Posts