Sunday, July 3, 2016

Six Months On

It's been over six months now since Hugh and I went our separate ways.
Finding love again is hard, y'all.

Maybe I've been trying too hard... or maybe it's just not in the cards for me to love that way again.

It was so easy with Hugh. We were just us, and it required so little effort. Is that it for me? Was he it?

No, I don't think I really believe that. Hugh taught me to let myself be loved.
It doesn't hurt anymore, looking back on what we had. Oh, there will always be a little twinge left over from what once was, but... no, it's not painful. It's really very lovely, remembering how that man loved me so.

I miss him, though, still, every single day. As my friend, mostly. We haven't spoken one single word since December. I miss getting to bounce things off of him. I wonder what he would have thought of ruined and that whole experience?

He and I were so alike. Our ethics and our beliefs were so perfectly aligned. I've never met anyone who "got" me like he did. Or who loved me for it so much. I never felt like I had to be anyone other than who I was with him. He just loved me... it was so simple and extraordinary.
Our time together was a very beautiful dream.

I've had some pretty amazing men in my life in the past six months. Some of them will always be special to me... Some, I've already forgotten.

It didn't work out with any of them, for a variety of reasons.

And now I'm free and single again. Appropriate, I suppose, on this Independence Day weekend?

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