Saturday, May 28, 2016

Why aren't men joining [ruined]?

I don't get it. I really don't.

I'm absolutely confounded by this.

Why aren't men joining [ruined]?
Right now, we've got 57 members.

The breakdown? 33 women and 24 men and that's better than it was. For a time, we had 2 women for every 1 man.
You guys are supposed to be the horny ones, right? And here's a little club... very little, admittedly... with a bunch of gorgeous, smart, aroused women.

And you don't want to join  us?
Have I done something wrong in how I'm presenting the club? Is it not coming across as attractive to men? Not alluring enough?

Or, you know, are you guys just not that into sex?
I'm finding myself alone a lot at the club... doing a lot of this. Masturbating. I'd much rather be doing that with a man, or men. 

And I believe most of our female members feel the same way. 

So, yes, I'm baffled. Why aren't you guys joining? 
Yeah, I know I've turned a few of you away.

FYI - Sending me a notecard, followed by an IM, followed by signing the guestbook, followed by sending me an email AND a message on Flickr... and then repeating it when I don't answer soon enough... comes across as desperate. And I'm gonna turn you away for that. I've given you a lot of ways to contact me, yes, but you don't need to use every one of them. At once!

Even though I'm sounding pretty desperate right now, aren't I?

Picky AND desperate!
Is it my pickiness that is keeping some of you from requesting membership? If it is, I'm terribly sorry... but, I'm also holding the women to those same standards.

Some of you I've considered approaching with a membership offer. I see you on Flickr and you're gorgeous, and the level of detail in your photos and your avatars tells me that you have that quality I'm looking for. Would that be too forward of me?

I honestly don't know. I'm new at this and I'm not really certain what the best methods of recruiting members are.

All I know is that I want you here. Getting [ruined]. With me. And the other beautiful women we have.


  1. I wish I had an answer for you, Beth. I have speculation, though. I suspect that many men in SL are afraid of strong, confident women. They see a woman who pursues her own sexual agenda as a threat, or dangerous, or something. Society at large sends a lot of messages, many of them conflicting, but one of the strong keynotes still is that men are active, women are passive. Women are supposed to wait to be approached; if we do the approaching, we're breaking the pattern. Men are supposed to take the lead, sexually. A woman who initiates throws most men off-balance and many of them don't know how to react positively, so they try to regain control - either by dismissing the woman or denigrating her. 'Slut'. 'Whore'. 'Suck my cock, bitch.' 'Gonna fuck your cunt so hard'. The necessity is to put the woman back in her place as subservient, secondary, merely a vessel for a man's gratification.

    Frankly I'm impressed that you've found 24 men who meet your standards, who aren't like that. I've enjoyed very much my two encounters so far; both gentlemen were gentlemen. They didn't just treat me as a thing to dump their semen in; they were engaged in making sure I enjoyed myself, too. I would've liked some more foreplay and some aftercare, too; but I thought 'at least they're willing to be publicly sexual, which is one of the things Beth is trying to encourage.'

    All I can suggest is patience. Word of your club will spread, slowly. It's easy for me to say it (since I'm not running the club), but speaking as one member, I'd much rather see a small, select membership of people who meet your standards, who aren't shy, who enjoy conversation and teasing and double entendres and seduction and sex.

    I think you're going about this the right way.

    1. Thank you, Rhia... I really needed to hear that right now. :-)


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