Thursday, February 18, 2016

Simply Being Simple

Sometimes it's best just not to question things.

Like, for instance, when you realize you're missing someone.
Old Beth... Regular Beth... would feel like she had to question that and dissect it and figure out all the reasons why.

But you know what? I'm not going to.
I missed him. I missed my friend and my lover. I feel good when I'm with him. Light. Happy. Special.

Why question it?
Instead I'm just going to enjoy it... whatever it turns out to be. Right now it's fun and free and comforting and... just lovely.
Oh, and arousing as all fuck.

The dude turns me on... big time. Unlike anyone else that's crossed my path recently. I can be myself with him, completely. Let myself go and just... experience it all.
Right now, it's not serious. Or maybe it is. Yeah, it probably is, actually, but whatever. No rules, no boundaries, no expectations. Going with the flow... the glow.
He gets what turns me on. And he doesn't judge. And through all my ups and downs of the last couple of months, he's been there. Sometimes right in front of me, sometimes off to the side... and, yes, sometimes I tried to put him behind me, too.

But he was always still there. Being a friend to me... never pressured me, never demanded anything, never expected anything but for me to be real with him.
And that's what he is first and foremost... my friend. Everything else we are, everything we will be, might be, could become... it's all born of that friendship we've built and are still building.

And really, when you strip away all that other stuff... sex and drama and politics and religion and indecisiveness and doubt and everything else... if you strip all that away, and realize you still miss THAT person, isn't that all that counts?
For me, right now, yes. It is what counts. I don't know where we're going, where we'll end up... but I know how he makes me feel, and how I feel about him. And I missed him when we were apart.

It took me a little time to realize that. I realized I was comparing other men to him, and finding them lacking. I realized I missed him. That I worried about him and what was happening in his lives... both RL and SL. I wanted to be able to talk to him again. I wanted to see him again.
I wanted to be in his arms again.

So I am. We may both continue to have other lovers, or we may not. No rules, no boundaries, no expectations. We're just going to be.
It feels good and it feels right. It makes me happy.

So there you go.

I'm happy.

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