Sunday, January 10, 2016

Soooo... A lot has happened...

I'm not even sure how or where to begin.

There's certainly been some turmoil in my life recently. The last few months have been difficult, to say the least.

The end of Hugh and Beth finally came in mid-December. I knew it was coming. There was no way to avoid it. It still hurt like a bitch. I lost something, someone, so very precious and dear to me. And more than just mourning the loss, I was scared. What on Earth was I supposed to do in SL after spending almost two years by his side?

An astounding thing happened the night I got the email from him saying he'd never contact me again... and he hasn't... but something magical happened that night.
I was lost. I was in that place where pain is so overwhelming that you just become numb. I went to bed and couldn't sleep. I got out of bed and logged into SL. I got all dressed up and hit the sex clubs. I wanted to feel something other than pain.

And there he was... at Teqi's, of all places.
Not Teqi's
Truth be told, I already had my eye on him from seeing him somewhere else. Through a situation I won't get into, but I was very aware of him.

I stood there in Teqi's trying to figure out how to get his attention. I've never been one to approach someone first and my head was still spinning from the hurt I was going through. And while I was trying to come up with some clever opening line, he approached me.
And he was smart, and funny. Handsome. Kind. He didn't push me and we did nothing but talk. I shared my pain... he shared his. We were both coming out of long term relationships. When we parted that night, he kissed me on the cheek... I turned my head and kissed him on the lips.

I feel asleep thinking of the possibilities.

We emailed the next day... couldn't wait to see each other again. But he had a secret for me. Something he was afraid would send me running. He waited to tell me until we could be face-to-face again and confessed his sins.
What was this enormous secret? That we already knew each other... had for years. Our paths had crossed several times, we'd been friends, then not, then friends again. Not close, but acquaintances. He was a man whose presence I'd been aware of since we first met, probably 3 or 4 years ago.

Isn't life strange that way?

He thought I'd run... instead I laughed and curled into his arms.
He gave me my smile back, and brought the light back into my world. We fell hard, and fast, and beautifully.

And last night he asked me to be his. And there was no hesitation in my answer of yes.

His name is Neo, and I love him.
It's scary and exhilarating how fast this has happened. I still love Hugh. I will always love him. He's an extraordinary man... a wonderful man. And he will always be in my heart, forever. The loss still hurts- even as I type this, there are tears in my eyes. Hugh brought so much to my life, was such a huge part of it for so long. It hurts that I can't share this with my dear friend... because I know he wants me to be happy, and I am.
Neo is a very different man. I didn't replace Hugh with him. In many ways, they stand in stark contrast to each other, and I refuse to hold one up against the other.

I am so blessed that Neo was there. Is there. Moving in together, creating our own home together, learning each other. Sharing our worlds.

Embarking on this next journey with him is beautiful.

Now is our time.

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