Tuesday, May 26, 2015

On Hiatus

After the events of the past few days (weeks), I've decided I need to take a break from publishing this blog for a minute, as well as posting public photos on Flickr.

I'm not going to stop writing or taking photos... I'm just going to take a break from sharing them with anyone.

My best friend and I have known each other for over 25 years now. On the surface, our friendship shouldn't work. We are SO different in really basic, important ways. She's religious, I'm a big blasphemous heathen. She's a Republican by birth who hates politics and refuses to learn issues, I'm a news junkie and a liberal tree-hugger. She didn't lose her virginity until she was 25, and he's still the only man she's ever had sex with, I've whored it up pretty good. There are a million things like this. We have some pretty polar differences of opinions on a lot of very tough subjects.

We work because we respect the fact that we do have really big differences of opinion. Some subjects we've learned to avoid, some subjects we'll have it out over. We get pissed off and stomp off... and that lasts about an hour before we forget about it and move on. We never, ever tell each other our respective opinions are wrong. We don't apologize to each other for holding the opinions we do.

We accept the differences even if we don't like (sometimes hate even) or agree with them.

I've used this blog in two ways- half to show naked sexy pictures and half as a diary. And it's been cathartic and fun.

Recent events have made this not fun anymore. I don't feel comfortable being as open as I have been and I don't feel free to share my opinions anymore with anybody. I'm pissed as hell over the way some people reacted to my having a different opinion.

I've been defriended, shunned and made to feel like a pariah.

Because of mesh heads.

I've been told my opinion is wrong. And that my opinion is full of misconceptions. My words were cherry-picked and twisted and even when I offered clarification and conceded that I'd misworded some things, I got shit on.

And worst of all, I was told that I should just apologize (for what, I'm still not sure) and say I was wrong.

That one really hurt. Badly.

And I'm being temperamental and childish right now, I know.

But no one should be made to feel like a worthless piece of shit because of an opinion. About mesh heads.

And no one should be told, or expected, to say their opinion is wrong.

Maybe if my opinion was that we should all going around kicking puppies or punching children or, I don't know, perpetrating genocide against my own people, I should be made to feel like a worthless piece of shit.

But over mesh heads? And now because I don't like them I am literally worse than Hitler?

Why would I want to share anything with anyone anymore?

I'm being a whiny victim here, something I hate, but fuck. I feel... betrayed. I feel sad and embarrassed and humiliated.

Because I don't like mesh heads and won't back down from that opinion.

And I need to deal with that in my own way, in my own time. And I deal with things by writing, but I don't feel that I can do that here, publicly, with anyone, so for the time being, I'm going completely private.

It might last a day, or a month. I don't know. I'm hurt and it's not abating. I'm keeping this open for the next 24 hours so people who try to visit my blog will know what's going on when they get the "this blog is private" message.

Yes, I'm aware I'm rage-quitting. And it's immature and uncalled for, and most of all, letting the haters win. I don't care. Or, I do care, but I care more about nursing my own wounds right now.

See you all on the flip-side.


  1. Ridiculous. You're still welcome to talk to me, I'll IM you in world. I agree with what you said, your opinion, your choice, their reaction. Mesh heads will make SL seem line a clone army, so I enjoy the subtle differences and the actual creativity of SLers even if it is a trainwreck. Hang in there, Beth. :)

  2. Beth..I, for one, have not unfriended you. I've not gotten the chance earlier to respond to your posts; by the time I was..it was offline/closed.

    We may not share the same view on mesh heads now and maybe never, but oh well.

    Yes, I felt offended, insulted even by your initial generalization and I commented fast and quick, as if I was slapped in the face. I should perhaps, in retrospect, have given it more thought.
    Just like you, I shot from the hip in a first reaction.

    We are better than that, right?
    I like my mesh head, you do not. So be it.

    A break, time-out, what you call it..can be good. Take your time, relax, go have fun, do your thing be you and I hope you can leave all this behind you soon.

    Rage-quitting eh, hah...been there, done that..the can feel good and sometimes you need em, I know I did!

    See you on the flip-side too, take care and hugs.

    (I have issues commenting with my wordpress account, so in case this shows up as anonymous: caitlin tobias)

  3. I vote against mesh heads, I don't see the need. and the ones I seen couldn't have facial animations, and in doing porn when 2 people are having sex with the blank looks on there faces.... well I don't want to see it.

    I'll be open minded maybe they have improved them, maybe they haven't.

    I don't see the point of this argument, just write what you want and don't even respond to the haters.
    Have fun!!!

  4. I... Have no words about this. Take your time, feel better, and have fun in the meantime.

  5. I've stayed out of this mesh head kerfuffle not because I don't have an opinion but because it got way out of hand fast. I don't need that kind of noise.

    FFS it's Second Life even.

    I'm totally shocked over peoples opinions being stomped all over with so much vitriol.

    Take your break. This does not mean anyone has won , it means you are wisest in taking a step back from bs.

  6. I think everyone needs to step back and remember a spirit of generosity to each other. Mesh heads are all well and good... but isn't GIVING head more important?

  7. I do not like mesh heads either, for many reasons...

    1) I just like the face my avatar has for years...
    2) No way to make it unique looking, it is all the same and it will be clones in SL...
    3) As Emily said, no face expressions..

    But that people feel stepped on their toes and defriend you, is in my opinion way more childish of them. If they like their mesh head, so be it. But there will be people that do not like them.

    Sorry to hear this has happend to you,


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