Sunday, August 17, 2014

Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall...

Life is a big old strange thing.

(Don't worry... there are naughty pics further down the page...)

One day... everything goes to shit. I mean horribly, horribly wrong.

And in the blink of an eye, it all turns around.

I had just such a week.

You see, on Tuesday night after work, I got a call from my dad that he was having trouble breathing and he wanted to go to an urgent care center. I rushed over and we went... the doctor gave him oxygen and he seemed to be better.

On Wednesday, they came and brought tanks and stuff for the oxygen and he freaked out over not being able to understand it and called me to come over and help. His stress level was through the roof and I was afraid he was going to stroke out, but I got him calmed down and all seemed well.

On Thursday, though, as I was leaving for work (a day when I had an event planned that I'd been working on for months and really had to be there), my brother called to tell me Dad's breathing was worse and he was taking him to the hospital. On top of that, my other brother was having his 2nd chemo treatment. I had to stay at work getting updates... everything from pulmonary fibrosis to COPD to pneumonia. I had to leave my event early so my brother could go get my dad's dog and put him in a kennel before they closed.

It was a bad day. A really bad day. One of those days where you just have to wonder... why go on? Everything is atrocious and I can't handle it. We also lost Robin Williams... and being a person who has depression, it hit me hard.

There was just so. much. shit.

You carry on, because you have to. People are depending on you. As I've said before, I'm an introvert and I had to crawl out of my comfort zone to deal with... people. Lots and lots of people. Strangers. Doctors, nurses, aides... I had to emcee my event. I was worried sick about my brother and his chemo. It was just everything... one giant conglomeration of shit.

Things started looking up on Thursday night when the pulmonologist let us know Dad's condition was caused by a reaction from another of his medications and that, though it's going to take a while, he should be fine.

But my dad is a worrier, you see... much like me. And I stayed at the hospital until he fell asleep. But in the meantime... holy hell. He worried about every tiny thing, from not having a comb to making me trace all the tubes and cords to let him know what they were hooked up to. I was exhausted and... just drained.

Oh... I forgot. On Tuesday night after the visit to the urgent care center, as I was lying in bed about to fall asleep, there was a huge POP and my apartment filled with smoke. Goodbye, air conditioning!

But then Friday came.

Friday, glorious Friday.

We had nothing but good news from the doctors. Dad was already showing great signs of improvement. My brother came through his chemo well. And... the icing on the cake... my horrible bitch of a boss, the bane of my existence, put in her notice at work.

Just like that... all of the stress... all of the angst... gone.

Just gone. Life, my dear friends, is amazing.

It's hard... god, there is still so much to deal with... getting Dad home from the hospital today, making arrangements for someone to take care of his dog for a few weeks, my brother started to have side effects from the chemo... but you know what? My entire family came together... siblings from out of town drove in, shifts were taken, chores divvied up. Not one single fight.

And through it all? There was this guy.
Every moment, I knew he had my back.
When I needed my mind taken away to our special place, he was there.
He made sure I was fed. ;-)
He was inside me... in my soul, protecting me.
There in the bad times... and there for the perfect moment that followed.
He worshiped me.
Cherished me.
Made sure I got plenty of protein...
He let me show him my adoration.
My appreciation for him... for just being him.
His methods of stress relief...
...were sublime. 
He gave me control. 
He loved me.
He loves me.
This past week was a rough one, baby. There were times that I didn't want to keep going. And you were there. And you are here now... and will be there tomorrow, and all my tomorrows. Words don't do it justice.. the depth of my love, my gratitude.. my joy at having you in my world.

Thank you, Hugh... just... thank you.

"You've Got A Friend"

When you're down and troubled and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa, nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call and I'll be there, yeah, yeah,
you've got a friend.

If the sky above you should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow,
keep your head together and call my name out loud.
Soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call and I'll be there.

Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend? People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you. Well, they'll take your soul if you let them,
oh yeah, but don't you let them.

You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call, Lord, I'll be there, yeah, yeah,
you've got a friend. You've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend. Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
Oh, yeah, yeah, you've got a friend.

~Carole King

1 comment:

  1. Glad to hear everything came together! (including but not limited to your and Hugh's fun bits) Happy for ya, Beth!


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