Sunday, May 18, 2014

An Homage...

There is something very odd happening to me.
Honestly, this hasn't happened before.

I keep falling in love.

And what's new about that, you ask?

I fall in love all the time, don't I?

Yeah... but not with the same guy.
But I suddenly find myself, here on the cusp of my four month anniversary with Hugh, falling in love with him anew every single day.

I can't explain it... I'm absolutely at a loss for words. I fall asleep every single night filled with this inexplicable joy.

And every single morning, I wake up and my heart, already filled to bursting, begins beating a new staccato rhythm... and it's intrinsically linked to this man.
And, I'm sorry, but I just simply can't keep it to myself.

I love this man. I love him. Every time I think it's impossible to love him more, there it is. Beautiful. Weightless. Ethereal. Rapturous.

An entire host of adjectives that have no word in human form as of yet.

Why? What's so special about this guy, him above all others?

Everything. Simply everything.
It's not what he gives me... it's not any action, or words... it's just him. It's the man he is.

It's the way he laughs with me. His silent, and sometimes not-so-silent, encouragement and approval of the woman I am. The creature I am. His unwavering acceptance of me. All of me.

The way he makes love to me.
Hugh gets credit for this photo... he took it. I was too orgasmic to snap.
The way he fucks me.

The way he cups my cheek and just stares, as lost for words as I am. It's tangible. We glow.

I realized last night that every single moment we're together, there is a smile on my face... RL and SL. I'm sitting at my keyboard in my ratty pajamas with no makeup and my hair knotted on top of my head in a messy bun... just grinning like a damned fool.

Because of this man.
His presence on this planet, in this universe, gives me such joy. Every breath he takes... twenty four hours a day, seven days a week... every single breath of air this man draws into his lungs makes the sun shine a bit brighter. It makes the grass a more vibrant shade of green. The birds chirp a wee bit louder. Lightning flashes more brilliantly. The rain falls to earth simply to join with the ground his feet are on.

The world is a better place because he exists. He doesn't have to do a single thing except just be and elation fills my soul.
How damn lucky am I? This man loves me.

I know that what we have has to be contained within Second Life. We both know this, and it works quite well for us. Beth in the real world is not a woman who can sustain a relationship, nor does she want to. My life, at 44, is very settled, thankyouverymuch, and the thought of changing that gives me the heeby-jeebies. That is way too scary. Too many unknowns, too many factors, too much trouble.
I know my place, and my meaning, in the real world. It's a good place and my meaning is... unexplainable, but I know it's important.

But I've longed to have that one person... that one intimate soul that loves me. Anyone who's read this blog knows that. SL Beth and RL Beth... we come together as one and the same when it comes to that.
There is just something about this man... this one particular man. This masculine, mature voice of reason... this delightful little boy that can be as goofy as a puppy. We toe the line together, and we cross it together. Hand in hand, fingers entwined. Smiles on our faces.
Separate, but together. Not partnered, but partnered in the ways that matter. He has his life, I have mine... in world and out. We have our freedom, but the bond is unbreakable.

I'll most certainly love others, as will he. But that's tomorrow. Today is today.

But I know that no matter what comes next for either of us... through miles and years and whatever gets thrown our way, this thing we have... this amazing love... it's always going to be there, somewhere, in both our hearts.
And it's utterly magnificent.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful post. You have spoken words that are close to my heart.


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