Tuesday, January 14, 2014

This Is The End...

"Beautiful friend,
This is the end..."
Pretty sure the end is near in my wonderful relationship with my husband. Not because I don't love him, or because he doesn't love me... not because of a fight, or infidelities, or any of that crap.

Just because his real life is more important than his second life. I can't fault him for that... How could I? I've told him time and time again that when it was time for him to walk away, I'd understand.

I just didn't think it would be so soon.

Most men in SL that have RL commitments don't think twice about cheating in SL. I fall for the one guy who does. Because I have excellent taste in men. :-)

I'm beyond proud of him for not being willing to risk what he has at home for a virtual fling. Both of our emotions have run very deep for each other... to the point of almost setting plans into action to actually meet in the real world.

And that's pretty scary stuff. Scary for me on a variety of levels... scary for him because it would put everything... everything... at risk. And for what? A great RL fuck? Is that worth losing everything?

Of course it isn't.

Doesn't mean that letting him go isn't going to hurt like a bitch.

Through the course of our relationship, I've spent most of my time alone... so that won't change much. I was alone before, I was alone during, and I'll be alone after.

But he's an amazing man. And I do love him... as a husband in SL, and as a friend in RL. What kind of person would I be if I tried to put SL ahead of RL... or try to make him put SL in front of RL? I'd be a shitty person.

I want what makes him happy, even knowing it's just going to kill me.

I wouldn't change a thing that's happened... wouldn't change one single second of the time I've spent with him.

But, fuck, I hate this.

It's the risk we all take, isn't it? I don't know a single person who has a relationship in SL that can just turn that off when we log out. Emotions are emotions... in the virtual world and the real world.

I don't know what happens next. I don't quite know what to do.

Oh, I guess I do know what I should do... I just can't yet. Not tonight anyway. Can't make myself take the step I know is right for him and remove my rings and let him go so he doesn't have to be the one to make that decision.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

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