Friday, December 6, 2013

Damn you, Dan Savage!

Just kidding. I adore Dan Savage.
But he totally bogarted the phrase "It gets better".
For something completely terrific, yes, but I think it can be applied to far more folks than just LGBT teens going through really shitty times.
Everyone goes through really shitty times.

I was looking back through this blog a few nights ago looking for a particular photo and started reading the words I'd written not too awfully long ago.

I'd been through that sort of depression before and was lucky enough to know that it does get better and that helped pull through.
As much as I was hurting at the time, I knew my days were going to get brighter. And, they did.

It's pretty inexplicable... it just happens. I didn't change anything going on in my life, I didn't get my happy pill adjusted. I just persevered and kept getting out of bed every day. And the darkness passed.
And now I look back at that period... and all those dark periods I've gone through... and realize that when they pass, things don't just get better. Life always seems to get much, much better. I heal a bit more each time it happens and come out just a bit stronger than I was before each and every single time.
Look at me now. I've had some pretty big things happen in the last few weeks. My wonderful Ark came into my life.Yes, it's a Second Life relationship, but the joyous feelings he brings me certainly bleed over into the real world. He makes me smile, online and off.
I'm actually enjoying this holiday season, and usually I'm the biggest Scrooge around.
And I'm now a married lady. Sort of. Almost. It's all official now, but we haven't had our ceremony. We just didn't want to wait another second to be partners. I found the ring I wanted to buy for him, but it just wasn't quite right. The creator was kind enough to modify it for me and I wanted him to try it on to make sure it was perfect. He put it on and decided he wasn't taking it off again. And I didn't want him to, either.
We've already made all the vows we need to each other. It was fast, but when it's right, you just know it. Why wait?
I have the dress and the shoes and the flowers. We will have our ceremony... but it just seemed right to make it official together, alone and naked. Our bodies and souls bared to each other.
He's perfect. For me. For now. Forever.
I love you, Arkturis. I simply love you. My best friend. My lover.

My husband. My heart.

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