Monday, March 5, 2018

Max Cunning

Sometimes a person enters your life, or your heart, or your body, and stays.
Max did that.

That's Max Cunning, for those of you keeping score at home.

First time we met, I despised him. The funny thing about that, though, is that I despised him but couldn't forget him.

The second time we met, nearly three months later, I couldn't resist him. And now four months after that, I still can't.

Never has there been a man who gets under my skin in the way Mr. Cunning does. He quite lives up to his name, that's for certain.

In the past four months, we have loved, and fought, and loved, and fought, and loved and fought again. That's how it is, or has been, between us. We make love passionately, and we fight passionately. I can't recall any other man who I've fought so viciously with, and then wanted to run right back to him. Hugh and I never fought, ever. He was so bloody easy-going that it sometimes infuriated me when I wanted him to disagree with me about something, but he just wouldn't. One of the billion things I loved about that fantastic man.
Max is quite different, and fantastic in a way that is unique to him. He will call me on my bullshit without hesitation. And, yeah, I do the same to him. And then we butt heads and say awful things to each other. We defriend, we block, we do all the breakup things.

And I know full well that seems to be very unhealthy. The thing is, it's infuriating and aggravating and... sort of fun, too. How do you have makeup sex if you never fight?

I really thought we were done this time, though, after my last blog post when I said I was getting off the roller coaster. I honestly thought it was the end, for a variety of reasons, including the fact that our anger exhausted us. We both got tired of it. It wasn't fun anymore, it was ugly... and we went our separate ways, still furious at each other.

But when you get a man like Max Cunning inside you, it's hard to shake free of him. And I utterly and completely failed at doing that.

The thing is, though... he failed at getting me out of his system, too. Put the two of us in the same room, and it's like an inescapable magnetic field envelops us, and brings us closer and closer together until we're locked to each other.

Something is different this time. We're both so damn sick of pretending that Second Life is just as fun when we're not together... It isn't. And it's not just sexual, either. Sex is a HUGE part of it, but it's because we know each other so well... and like each other in spite of our flaws. We laugh. When it's good with us, it's the very best.

I think we're both pretty committed this time to keeping it good between us. We're going to put each other first and make this time about us, and no one else.

Note... that's "first", not "only". The thing that first brought us together was our raw sexuality, and neither of us has any desire to quash that in the other. We'll play with others, together and separately, but at the end of the day, we're with each other. Our home is wherever the other is.
Both of us have left a trail of lovers behind us, each of them wonderful in their own ways, and each brought something incredible to our lives. The people and loves and situations in our pasts make us who we are.

Max has a few haters in Second Life, as do I. He can be an asshole... I can, too. We all can. But he's also infinitely kind, generous, hilarious and intelligent. And when I'm with him, I feel invincible. He knows what he wants... and I know what I want. In the past, those two things clashed, violently, and we couldn't make it work because neither of us would make a single concession.

We dug in our heels and there was a very thick line between us. He was firmly on his side, and I was firmly on mine. The things that utterly aggravated us about each other were also the same things that we loved and admired about each other.

We've come full circle now. The love of those traits is more important than the hate of them. The Max I'm with right now is a very different Max than the one I first met, the one I despised. There has always been a storm brewing inside him - the uncompromising Max, and the, er... teddy bear Max.

My Max.

The storm has calmed... the lightning and thunder have faded into the distance, replaced by a calm, steady rain. The kind that renews and invigorates and nurtures life.

Real life is almost always full of some sort of turmoil and stress. Second Life is supposed to be our escape from that, for all of us. It hasn't been that for quite a while. I think, in the natural cycle of Second Life, breaks are incredibly healthy and cathartic. I've recently taken one, as has Max... and, oddly enough, a few other people I know. Perhaps it's the time of year, or if it has just accumulated for everyone at once... the stress of the holidays, etc., and it comes time to take a breather.

We have to sometimes go away from Second Life to remember the fun of it and the reasons we're there in the first place, and we have to come back rested and ready to do the things we need to do to make it our unstressed, fun, happy escape.

With that comes clarity of who we are, who we want to be. For me, I just want to be myself. It always comes back to that for me. I just want to be Beth. I like Beth.
And I'm happy being Beth with Max - this incredible man who will never, ever agree with me 100% on everything ever, but at the same time loves me and supports me being me, even if some part of that is something he disagrees with.

Is he my master? Yes. My owner? Yes. Does he expect blind obedience from me?

No, he doesn't. He's not that kind of master. He's the kind that is perfectly confident in his absolute importance in my life to know he can sit back and let Beth be Beth, knowing full well that he is... the One. He knows I submit to no other man but him. And he knows that I don't submit because he demands it... I submit because he has earned it by being Max, and that it brings me a sort of ethereal joy to kneel for him. Just him. Only him. Always him.

I don't walk behind him... I walk at  his side, or even in front of him so he can watch my ass, and give it a few good smacks.

I call myself his slave... it's not a title he bestowed on me, it's something that I wanted, asked for. There's no goofy Master/slave contract. I do not, nor will I ever, call him Master, or Master Max. He does not call me slave. I'm Beth, he's Max. We are equal in all ways... including servitude. I love to serve him, and he loves letting me indulge myself by letting go, and serving him. He doesn't degrade me, he doesn't humiliate me. He's proud. I wear a collar, and he holds the leash - not to control me, but because he wants me close to him. It's a tangible connection between the two of us, and we use it when we're alone. And I fucking love it. Putting my collar back on, giving him ownership... feeling the clasp snap tightly as he locked it... it filled me with warmth and security and love.

And isn't that what all of us really want? That intimacy that you can really only feel with one other person? That connection that goes deeper than sex, but is infinitely enhanced by it?

Max and I have that. It's silly to fight it... it just is what it is. We know how it feels when it's really good between us... and we're both willing to do the things it takes to keep it that good.

So, yeah... no sad, bitter, angry, defeated blog post from me today. Just smiles. Big ones. Comfort and security and bliss. Utter absolute ecstasy.
I know that wherever he is as he's reading this, his cock is thick and hard as he reads these words... and knows how I crave him. How much joy it brings me to be his slave... how I long to kneel for him, to worship him, that cock, for as long as the real world allows us. He's feeling that throb in his sac as it grows heavy and full... for me. And he's smiling right now knowing that as I write, as I think about him, his cock, and his love and ownership of me, I'm growing wetter and wetter, leaving a damp spot on the chair where I sit, and that that wetness is only for him.

He's my Max. I'm his Beth. And Second Life is our world.

And I could not be happier.

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