Sunday, February 4, 2018

Leading with my Pussy

I want a man.

And, no, I don't want a man to fuck. Those are easy to come by. It's SL... pretty much every man wants to fuck.
I want a man that is mine. I want... er... a boyfriend. No, a partner, but not in the SL pay-L$25-to-put-your-name-in-a-box kind of way. I mean in the way of two people who put each other first, even though they aren't monogamous. I want a man who isn't afraid to admit he cares about me, deeply, and wants the world to know. I want him to romance me, seduce me, support me, love me, just as I will him. I want a man who doesn't want to change me, and understands that it takes compromise on both sides to make a relationship work.

I want a man who actually wants to have a relationship with me and will pursue that with me.

And, no, I don't think that's an unreasonable thing to want.

Recently I was lamenting that I seem to find myself involved with, and caring for, men who aren't interested in a relationship with me beyond sex.
The (now ex) friend that I was talking to helpfully pointed out to me that I "lead with my pussy". I think what he meant was that I'm so outwardly and openly sexual that I shouldn't be surprised when that's all men see me for.

And no, I'm really not surprised, at least in their initial reactions upon meeting me. I am, however, nearly always surprised when even after talking with me for a while that's still all they seem to think I'm good for.

I also understand the school of "well, if you don't want to be treated that way, don't act or dress that way."

Perhaps I should rephrase... I understand the exceedingly basic logic that follows that line of thought. I also disagree with it completely.

Because, really, fuck a bunch of that double-standard.
And her's why I think that's a double-standard. The places I hang out in Second Life are all pretty much adult in nature. You're as likely to see men walking around with their cocks out as you are women showing their tits.

Just as many men are "leading with their cocks" as there are women "leading with their pussies". And no one ever, ever says "hey, if you don't want to be treated like a piece of meat, don't dress or act like one."

See what I'm getting at here? It's the thing I keep fucking trying to beat people over the head with since day one of this blog - we still live in a society, even in SL where we're free from normal societal constraints, where it's okay for a man to be sexual, even promiscuous, but a sexual woman is a slut.

People, fuck... Jesus. Enough already.
Can we stop with it? Women are sexual creatures, too. And Second Life affords me the luxury of wearing my sexuality on my sleeve just as men do. And when I see a gorgeous man walking around SL with a gorgeous cock, my initial thought might be... well, probably will be... about fucking him but I don't think for one single second that that is all there is to him.

As a matter of fact, if a hot avatar is all he has going for him, I'm probably not even going to fuck him. Why would I? It would be incredibly boring and I can grab my dildo and take care of myself if that's all I want.

Are men really so shallow as to not contemplate the woman behind the avatar? That she's a real person and not just a pixel Barbie? That she isn't being run by a computer... she's a human?

No, I know they aren't. At least, most of them aren't. I know I have quite a few wonderful men who actually take the time to read this blog and know me. The best relationships I've had in SL have been men who read my blog and then approached me. Hugh, for example... the best example... I had no idea he was a fan of my blog until he IMed me out of the blue one day.
And the rest, as they say, is history. Pretty damn amazing history.

But I digress. A bit. Hugh knew I was extremely sexual... and he was just about as vanilla as vanilla gets, but he looked deeper. He always looked deeper, and he not only accepted me, he embraced me. All of me.

And, yes, even to this day, Hugh is still the gold standard and I'm afraid I still hold all men up to the high bar he set and few even come close. I also know it really isn't fair to all the men out there, but... well, that's just how it is. I had my unicorn.
Edit: Paragraph removed here due to hurt feelings.

And when a man gets me to let my walls down with him? I completely throw myself into it. I immerse myself in it. And, yeah, I know I'm a handful when that happens. Some guy gets inside, and I'm not just talking sex, and I want to dive in, all the way in. And it's intimidating, I know. It's a strong man who can ride out that brief period and still be standing when we come out the other side.

Because I do come out of that period of deep immersion... the newlywed phase, SL style.

Edit: More paragraphs removed here.
Edit: Even more paragraphs removed here.
So what was the point of this post? Ah, yes, leading with my pussy. I'm not going to stop being who I am. And if men are surprised to find that, yes, I love sex, and yes, I also love romance and that I want one special man in my life... no, not monogamy... but that one certain partner... and if these men can't handle me being multidimensional, that's really their loss, isn't it?

Because, yes, I'm a handful. Aren't we all? And maybe it's arrogant, but I feel confident in saying these two men, and many others that have passed through my life, are lucky as fuck to have me, wanting them, for more than just their cocks. And they're certainly free to pass me up. To pass me over. That's certainly their prerogative.

Just as it's my prerogative to put my walls up and not lower the drawbridge for them again.

Perhaps it's my loss when I do that... but you know what? They lose out on knowing me. I have issues and damages and baggage. Flaws and faults galore. I also have empathy and kindness. Intelligence and a rockin' sense of humor. I know how to fuck, and be fucked, and I know how to make love and rock a man's world. I'm every flavor of the fucking rainbow, and I know that my good far outweighs my bad.

Complicated, complex, convoluted and uncompromising. And quite possibly the very best thing to ever happen to a man.

Label me if you want. I won't. It would take the entire dictionary.

If a man can't hold on to me and see me through our immersion phase... again, it's my loss.

But more so than that.. it's their loss.



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