Sunday, March 26, 2017

Boys Are Dumb

Okay, so here's what happened.
Last week... Thursday, I believe, I sent T a couple of Skype messages in the evening that went unanswered. Nothing important, just a "hey". I assumed he'd fallen asleep as it was a bit later in the evening and sent another message saying something like "I guess you've gone to sleep... goodnight."

As I was climbing into bed, I checked to see who was online. I do this all the time, just look to see which of my friends happens to be logged in. I saw that T was inworld. So I sent another message saying "I guess not asleep since I see you're inworld now" and yes, it had a frowny face emoji. I went to bed then and didn't think anything else about it.
I work up to a message saying that if I'd have come online, I'd have found him standing in my house because he fell asleep while logged in on his phone.

I apologized for assuming the worst. I can admit when I'm wrong, and apparently I was wrong.

The rest of the day Friday, I got nothing but the cold shoulder from him. Messages went unanswered or I got very brief, terse responses. Friday night, when we were both online, he sent me one message about how he didn't like my assuming the worst.
Again, I apologized. He logged off. Skype messages have gone unanswered. IMs in SL have gone unanswered.

As I said, I can admit when I make a mistake, and I can apologize.

His behavior since then... over something so very small... has been reprehensible. If he's done with me over that, fine, but be man enough to tell me. Ignoring me is such a juvenile thing to do. He hasn't defriended me, either. He's just... gone silent.
And it's driving me crazy. If he's being an asshole, that's one thing. But there is a part of me that is worried that something else is going on, something outside of SL. What if he's injured? Sick? Had some sort of family tragedy and I'm the cold-hearted bitch who sends him a final IM telling him to go fuck himself when he's dealing with something terrible in RL?

THAT is what's driving me crazy. If I knew what the hell was going on, I could deal with it, for good or for bad.

On a scale of 1-10, my behavior in being pissed that he was inworld and hadn't said anything to me is probably a 3 to 4. I didn't accuse him of doing anything, I didn't get mad and go fuck some other guy, I didn't do anything but apologize for my misconception.
His behavior these past couple of days, though? WAY worse than my little transgression.

Unless something really is wrong.

That's one of the biggest problems with online relationships like this. Because you aren't there in person, there is no way of knowing what is actually happening on the other end of the keyboard. We have nothing to go on EXCEPT assumptions.

I'm angry. My weekend was ruined. I'm disappointed. I'm confused.
He's not the man I thought he was. Damn me and my trusting nature, right?

How long do you give a person who has gone silent before you quit trying to communicate with them and just cut them out? Defriend and all that?

I want to ring his god damned neck.

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