Saturday, July 30, 2016

Oh, Saturday

So I'm clearly going through some sort of change.

Everything is sex. All sex. All the time. I can't have enough orgasms, it seems.

And I can't do relationships right now. I'm craving too damn much. 

Is it hormonal? Probably. I've always been pretty hyper-sexual, but right now? Good god. It's never enough. No matter how much cock I get, or how many orgasms I have, it's never enough.

I could be coy and play games and flirt... but why? I want sex, I want it now, and I don't want to play games. I just want to fuck.

And I don't know how long it's going to last, this need I'm having. So why fight it? It could end tomorrow and I want to enjoy it while I can. It's like the slightest whisper across my clit and I'm spurting like a geyser. 

shrugs

The photos below represent the first half of my Saturday. I found a new beach... and some new men while I was there. It's called Dusk Point Beach and I had a fine time!

Why am I writing this post a bit differently than usual? Instead of photos and text mingled together, I'm putting the photos at the bottom. I just feel... I dunno. These are pure fuck photos and not all of my readers might want to see them. I love them... they bring back the memories of how my day started but I'm certain they aren't for everyone.

If that's the case, you should probably stop looking now... but if you want to see me in all my... whorish glory... keep going... lol.
Al liked my nipples quite a bit.

Not as much as he loved my pussy, though.

I mean, he really loved it.

Lots and lots. 

And the orgasms flowed.

But cock! I had to have it.

He was thick... just like I love it.

A brief bit of afterglow before...

I met Marvy.

He was also a fan of my pussy.

I've absolutely lost count of orgasms now.

But it's not enough.

Moar orgasms, plz.

And cock! More cock!

And after Marvy, it was back to Al.

My pussy needed a little TLC. He was happy to give me a little massage.

And my sore little nipples needed some love, too.

Sometimes a woman just needs a good buggering .

I do so love a good hard deep anal fuck.

And Al was more than happy to oblige.

My pussy needed a little rest... good thing I've got other holes.

And the yummy frosting! 

No apologies for who I am.
And that was Saturday afternoon. I can't wait to see what Saturday night is going to bring!

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Do You Think This Is A Fucking Game?

Note: Oops... Sometimes I forget that not everyone gets my sense of humor, and they can't necessarily "see" the tone of voice I'm using.

The title of my last blog post was pulled right from a meme... this one.
I was a bit confused until I started getting all these messages asking if I was okay. "Er... yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

I'll try from now one to include the subtext any time I use some dank meme I ripped off the internet! ;-)

On some level, I understand why people create alts and start all over in Second Life. Hell, I did it seven years ago when I ditched my first avatar and made Beth Macbain.
As you can see, she hasn't been updated in a minute...
In my case, it was because my first avatar was so far off from who I was that it didn't feel like me. I wanted to be in SL as myself, as much as I could be, right down to using my real first name.

I know some people start over again for similar reasons. Some have nutty exes they're trying to get away from. And a great many have reasons I don't know or understand.

I'm going to tell you about two different situations I've had with men who I later found out were alts of people I already knew.
Several months ago, the very same evening Hugh broke up with me, I met this guy. I had gone to bed and been unable to sleep. I got out of bed, emotionally raw, and logged in with the thought of "Fuck it, I've been monogamous for nearly two years now... I'm getting laid." I went to Teqi's and there was a fellow there that I'd seen someplace else just a few days before and I was interested. While I was trying to figure out how to approach him, he approached me. We talked for an hour or so and hit it off amazingly.

He didn't try to sleep with me, though if he'd asked, I would have. But he knew I was going through something rough and didn't make that move. The very next day, he sent me an email saying he had something he needed to talk to me about. We met up that night and he told me the truth - he was actually someone I'd known for several years, since before Hugh. We'd flirted but our circumstances were never such that we could get together. We were never close. more of a flirtation than anything. Hell, I don't know if we'd ever met face to face before.

Regardless, he wanted to come clean with me before we went any further. He told me everything, answered every question I had, and gave me every opportunity to walk away.
I didn't, of course. Whatever his reasons for creating the alt, he explained them to me before we'd done anything more than a quick kiss goodnight on the cheek.

As this was all happening, and my relationship with this fellow was in its early stages, I received an email from another old friend. Someone I'd known even longer, and someone I'd even slept with once. We hadn't spoken in years and he'd since left SL for reasons not known to me. But suddenly I was getting this email from him out of the blue.

He was warning me about the guy I was seeing. That he was an alt and shared the dirty laundry he know of this guy with me, including a cut and paste job of a bunch of old Plurks about my new love... some of those Plurks were six years old. He was just letting me know "as a friend."

Of course, everything he told me I already knew. I informed him of that, thanked him for looking out for me and never heard another word from him.
Flash forward to when I was opening Ruined.

There was a guy who joined immediately. As a matter of fact, he was the first person to request membership. He looked hot, I'd seen him around a few places, seemed to be a decent guy, and we banged a couple of times. I was talking to another friend about him who had also slept with him, and she told me that she suspected he was the alt of someone we both knew. Someone we'd both known for years.

So I asked him... and he confirmed it. Yep, he was the same guy who emailed me to warn me about the other guy being an alt.

...

...

...

I honestly didn't think a lot about it at the time. I was opening my own club and it was a very stressful, time-consuming thing. The sordid details about the pasts of the guys I was sleeping with wasn't really a concern and it wasn't any sort of serious relationship, nor was it going to be.

Now I've had some time to think about it, and I've also heard some things from some other women that he did the same thing to. He'd befriended them, slept or engaged in prolonged flirtation with them, and then disappeared, only to reappear as someone else, hanging out in the same places, meeting the same women, in some cases sleeping with them, partnering with them, without ever letting them know they knew him from before.

That is not making a fresh start - That is playing a very shitty game.

It's being dishonest and deceitful. I don't consider Second Life a game, and I make that clear to those I get involved with. This guy used me. And he had the fucking nerve to call out this other guy for doing the same thing? No, not even the same thing. Guy #1 was honest with me. This guy wasn't.
And he did the same thing with other women. In his view, Second Life is a game to be played and you level up by fucking women by any means possible.

Do you see the difference between Guy #1 and Guy #2 and how, though they both started over with new avatars, the circumstances and situations were completely different? One respected me enough to tell me the truth before I asked - and I wouldn't have. I never even suspected. The other one saw me only as a means to get his dick wet, completely disregarding the human being behind the avatar.

No. No, thank you. I want no part of that. The more I've learned, the angrier I've gotten. I don't use the block function very often, but I'm using it now. And not just in Second Life. On Flickr, on Google, on any other means this guy could use to contact me. I don't want to hear his story or his excuses. I generally believe people should be given a chance to explain themselves, but not this time.
So while I may not be with Guy #1 any longer, he still someone I love dearly. He has been in my corner, both as Avatar #1 and Avatar #2, for years and years, to this very day. If I'm feeling down about something, if I post something here that indicates I'm not feeling great physically or emotionally, he's there. Always. He is always looking out for me, and I love him.

Guy #2, though... well, he can fuck right off. I have no wish to see or hear from him ever again. Ever. Now that I've written this out and gotten it off my chest, he ceases to exist to me. There are just some things you don't come back from - this is one of them.
My purpose in posting this? I don't know. To let me sort through it all in my own head, certainly. So he can read it and know why he can't get in touch with my anymore. And maybe as a warning to others to always think long and hard before trusting someone.


Sunday, July 24, 2016

The Many Loves of Beth Macbain

I'm entering a new chapter of my Second Life.

One where were I'm just going to accept that this big goofy heart of mine, and this overactive sex drive of mine, make me fall in love over and over and over, often with several men at the same time.
My second life is pretty split into three parts... Before Hugh, During Hugh, and now, After Hugh.

I've come to accept that what I had with Hugh isn't going to happen again. That was a blip in the universe. The timing was right for both of us and it just worked. It was wonderful and it's over.
So now... After Hugh.

I've fallen in love so many times in these last few months. That sounds fickle, I know, but the fact remains that with the exception of one glaring mistake, I really did, and do, love these guys.

Right now, there are three in particular. And, god, they couldn't be any more different. This isn't like in my early days with Hugh when I had two loves that were also friends. These guys have nothing in common except me.
And all three love me for all my faults and foibles and wonderfulness. All three call to a different part of me. None of them are able to be in SL as much as I am... as much as I'd like them to be... and all three also have other entanglements. I can't be monogamous with any of them, nor do I want to be.

All three have blessed me with openness... they understand my intense sexuality. I believe they all take pride in it even. They all know I'm going to have sex with other men... even love other men. None would try to hold me down even if they were free to do so.
My life in SL is centered around sex and love. It just is, and really always has been. I have other things I enjoy... shopping, dancing, photography, etc., but at the end of the day, I'm here to get laid.

And to love the men I'm lying with. When I'm with a man, I give him my all... for the time we're logged in together, I belong to him. But when the log off comes, for either of us, that ends and I'm ready to move to someone else.
My libido is at the highest it's ever been right now. I'm not exaggerating when I say I'm in heat. I can't have enough orgasms. There is never a time when I say, "Stop, I'm done... it's too much."

I don't know how long it's going to last so I'm going to enjoy every second of it. I'm having a hell of a time, even though I still haven't found enough lovers to please me. I'm still very particular about who I fuck. Bumping pixels just doesn't do it for me... there has to be more to it. I can't necessarily define it, but I know it when I see it. And I grab it.
Not gonna lie... I've scared a few men. They just aren't used to women who state what they're looking for right up front - sex. Gone are the days when I waited for men to IM me. If I see someone I like, I make contact. I get rebuffed sometimes, yes. And sometimes after a few minutes of conversation, I realize they aren't what I want.

And by the way, I'm looking for new places to find new men. If anyone has suggestions, I'd love to hear them.
I don't want to do the dance... the mating ritual of circling, and being coy, and fluffing tail feathers. I want what I want. I want sex. And I may well fall in love while I'm fucking. But it won't be the end-all, be-all, you-are-my-one-and-only kind of love. 

Watch... having said that some dude is going to come along and sweep me off my feet... lol. Things change, as we're all well aware.

But for right now, for today, this is my Second Life. And I'm loving it.

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Oh dear god... what have I done?!

Y'all... I don't think I can ever go back to the Chamber.
Why, you ask?

Well, let me tell you what I just did.

It should be pretty clear to anyone who reads this blog that I'm pretty far beyond the ability to be embarrassed, right? 

Yeah... maybe not. 

Usually when I'm at the Chamber, I either sit in the Dutchie femdom chair right by the entrance to reception, or I stand around like everyone else.

This evening, though, I decided to switch it up a bit. 

So I plopped my ass on one of the couches. I started fiddling with the menu, as you do, and doing a bit of adjustment since I was hovering a few inches above the cushion. 

Do any of you ladies also wear the VAW vagina??

You know how you can click it and the menu comes up? I accidentally click it all the damn time and it's not normally a problem. Just hit the ignore button and move on, right? 

NOT THIS TIME!

No, my dumb ass was adjusting my cam view so I could see how high I was floating. I had the couch menu open and clicked my vagina without realizing it. 

I was trying to click the save button on the couch menu.

Instead I hit the pee button on my vagina.

Yes, ladies and gentleman, I just pissed all over the big red couch at the Chamber. 

And I panicked... I totally panicked. 

Instead of laughing, and explaining what happened like the grown ass woman I am, I teleported home, leaving behind a giant yellow puddle of pee on the couch.

I'm mortified. 

Truly.

Forget being called a whore, a hypocrite and all that... I'm now going to be "that chick that pissed all over the Chamber". 

Why, why, didn't I click the cum button?? Why'd it have to be the pee button??

My face is still red... lol.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

I'm Mad as Hell...

And I'm not gonna take it anymore.
What am I mad about now?

Mean people, that's what! Mean people in Second Life. The mean people behind the SL Whisperer, the mean people behind SL Secrets, the mean people in group chats that love to bully people.

MEAN PEOPLE.
I have fucking had it UP TO HERE. And I'm not keeping my mouth shut anymore... well, at least not today, anyway.

I ran into it twice today and it just boiled over in me. One was in a group chat... the same one I griped about before. The dude did his thing again... this time offering L$2,000 for a quick fuck (he turned me down, by the way). That's right, I had some free time and I was absolutely going to fuck him for lindens. Not because I need lindens, but more as a "fuck you" to all the haters. And the sheep started baaing again, bullying really, and I just fucking had enough.
We've had some shitty times this year, haven't we? Hell, not just this year. But with what happened in Nice, and before that, Orlando, and before that, Paris, and all through there, cops killing black kids, black kids killing cops, white people being obnoxious twats... oh, and killers, too... and what happened in Turkey and it just fucking seems like every fucking person wants to hurt other people for absolutely no damn good reason and I'm fucking sick of it.
I believe in kindness. I believe in it.

And if I stand by and say nothing when I see people acting like jackasses for the lulz I'm giving tacit consent.

I can't do that anymore. It's not how my momma taught me to act, damn it.
So today was the day Macbain stuck her big size 9 stiletto right into it. I pointed out that people were behaving like bullies and that we ALL have our kinks... and it just so happens that this guy's kink is spoiling women. Surprisingly... or maybe not so surprisingly... no one defended their bullying ways. Those who were vomiting up the worst of it shut their mouths and a few others jumped in to agree with me, which was a quite lovely feeling.
I'm sure it's not going to suddenly stop. I'm certain the next time this guy posts, there will be a new group of turds that will pile on. And if I see it, I'm going to call it out.

Not a single one of these people lives in a glass house... or maybe they do, since it's Second Life, but I'll be there to tell 'em to stuff it.

In a nice way.
The second thing I ran into today was my own fault because I'm no different than anyone else and read those atrocious gossip sites. And I read one today on the SL Whisperer site that pissed me off and I let them have it, too.

What purpose do those two sites serve? SL Whisperer and SL Secrets? There may be more, too, but I have no idea what they are. I started reading SL Secrets because I thought it was going to be a bit like PostSecrets... people sharing their own secrets as it pertains to Second Life.
Instead I found what is truly the hemorrhoid filled asshole of SL. It's our equivalent of Topix, if any of you are familiar with that. It is full of the meanest, shittiest, unhappy childish adults in SL saying the ugliest things possible in meme form. They hide behind anonymity, the commenters hide behind anonymity and in the background you have the people who run a website that serves no other purpose than providing a home for people to be shit-stains.

And why? Why be the facilitator of such vitriol and hatred?
Anyway, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of people being mean to each other just to make themselves feel... more important? Better than someone else? Are their real lives so horrid that the only way to make themselves feel better is by making others feel bad?

Well tough shit.

I'm not trying to start a movement here or anything... I just want people to stop and think for a minute before they decide that the anonymity of the internet, and Second Life, gives them license to treat others poorly. Am I completely innocent here? Hell no. I've been known to be a total shit to some people. In school, I was bullied, so I bullied others. It's a vicious circle but we can stop it. If we all try to be a little better... and say something when we see it, we can make things a little bit nicer. We can.

We can.

Anyway... here's my tits. Happy Saturday.

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