Sunday, July 24, 2016

The Many Loves of Beth Macbain

I'm entering a new chapter of my Second Life.

One where were I'm just going to accept that this big goofy heart of mine, and this overactive sex drive of mine, make me fall in love over and over and over, often with several men at the same time.
My second life is pretty split into three parts... Before Hugh, During Hugh, and now, After Hugh.

I've come to accept that what I had with Hugh isn't going to happen again. That was a blip in the universe. The timing was right for both of us and it just worked. It was wonderful and it's over.
So now... After Hugh.

I've fallen in love so many times in these last few months. That sounds fickle, I know, but the fact remains that with the exception of one glaring mistake, I really did, and do, love these guys.

Right now, there are three in particular. And, god, they couldn't be any more different. This isn't like in my early days with Hugh when I had two loves that were also friends. These guys have nothing in common except me.
And all three love me for all my faults and foibles and wonderfulness. All three call to a different part of me. None of them are able to be in SL as much as I am... as much as I'd like them to be... and all three also have other entanglements. I can't be monogamous with any of them, nor do I want to be.

All three have blessed me with openness... they understand my intense sexuality. I believe they all take pride in it even. They all know I'm going to have sex with other men... even love other men. None would try to hold me down even if they were free to do so.
My life in SL is centered around sex and love. It just is, and really always has been. I have other things I enjoy... shopping, dancing, photography, etc., but at the end of the day, I'm here to get laid.

And to love the men I'm lying with. When I'm with a man, I give him my all... for the time we're logged in together, I belong to him. But when the log off comes, for either of us, that ends and I'm ready to move to someone else.
My libido is at the highest it's ever been right now. I'm not exaggerating when I say I'm in heat. I can't have enough orgasms. There is never a time when I say, "Stop, I'm done... it's too much."

I don't know how long it's going to last so I'm going to enjoy every second of it. I'm having a hell of a time, even though I still haven't found enough lovers to please me. I'm still very particular about who I fuck. Bumping pixels just doesn't do it for me... there has to be more to it. I can't necessarily define it, but I know it when I see it. And I grab it.
Not gonna lie... I've scared a few men. They just aren't used to women who state what they're looking for right up front - sex. Gone are the days when I waited for men to IM me. If I see someone I like, I make contact. I get rebuffed sometimes, yes. And sometimes after a few minutes of conversation, I realize they aren't what I want.

And by the way, I'm looking for new places to find new men. If anyone has suggestions, I'd love to hear them.
I don't want to do the dance... the mating ritual of circling, and being coy, and fluffing tail feathers. I want what I want. I want sex. And I may well fall in love while I'm fucking. But it won't be the end-all, be-all, you-are-my-one-and-only kind of love. 

Watch... having said that some dude is going to come along and sweep me off my feet... lol. Things change, as we're all well aware.

But for right now, for today, this is my Second Life. And I'm loving it.

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