Sunday, April 10, 2016

Whore no More?

I suppose it was bound to happen eventually. 

It's become clear to me of late that my sexuality... or my very open, straight-forward sexuality... is a double-edged sword. 

Because men can't handle it. Or don't know how to handle it. Or they're still neanderthals locked in out-dated societal norms. 

It's just too much for their little brains to comprehend that a woman who embraces her sexuality is also a million other things. Sex isn't all I have to offer. 

And I'll be no one's dirty little secret. 

A strongly sexual woman scares men. As much as they pretend to be enlightened, when push comes to shove, it freaks them the fuck out. It doesn't fit into any of the little boxes they've created for women and they don't know how to handle that. 

See that photo up there? That's my new chastity belt. I put it on myself, and I'm the one holding the key. I won't be taking it off until the men in my life learn to appreciate the woman within. 

And fucking respect her. Me. 

I'm not a whore, or a slut, or a bitch. And if I choose to get down on my knees and suck your cock or allow you to put it inside my body, it's not because you demanded it, or expected it, or thought you were owed anything - it's because you're god damned lucky. 

Because I'm fucking fabulous. As are all the other women you're lucky enough to have in  your lives. 

I love men. Don't get me wrong... I fucking adore them. Love them intensely. I crave being close to that... masculinity, that essence of maleness. 

And I love sex. It won't be easy for me to not show my appreciation of men through sex. 

The vast majority of men who approach me come equipped with lines like "I love your profile. I love how straight-forward and open you are." It's almost always some variation on that theme. 

I suppose it plays into the Madonna-Whore complex and the inability of men to understand that women can be, and are, both. They think they can, yes... but again, the reality seems to be that they can't. It just doesn't fit in any of those boxes. I have to be one or the other... and since I'm so sexually open, I have to go into the whore box. 

I deserve better than that. I demand better than that. 

This isn't directed at one man. I've encountered several men recently who have treated me like something to scrape off the bottom of their shoe. My overt attraction to them put me squarely in the whore box. They hang around adult places in Second Life, and pretend they aren't looking to get laid. Like they're above it... yet there they are, in Teqi's, the Chamber, Corruption, wherever... but they won't sully themselves with a dirty woman. 

What is that? I mean, seriously, what the fuck? Why are you there? 

Lest anyone think I'm just picking on the men, the women are just as guilty. There are plenty of ice cold women hanging out in these places, too, and god forbid a woman have sex with a man. Women will be the first to slap the whore label on another woman. And we're also the ones who let men get away with this atrocious behavior. It's so much fun to point fingers and say "Oh, I'd never behave that way! What a slut!" I hear the whispers, I feel the cold glares and derision. Ladies, that allows men to treat women like whores. Think you're not going to be the victim of it, too? Just wait... your turn will come and the fingers will be pointing at you. 

Oh, and I'm a glutton for punishment. The lower they make me feel, the less desired, the less worthy, because I'm just a dirty whore, the more I want to prove them wrong. The more I want to fuck them. And the reasoning behind it becomes very cold... it's not because I want to fuck them because of sexual desire, it's to prove to them that they are no better than me.

If I'm a dirty whore, so are the men who fuck me. 

It doesn't have to be that way, of course. Men could abandon that double-standard of it being perfectly reasonable, perfectly normal, for them to be sexual, but not for women. Men could embrace women who don't pretend that they don't like sex. Stop putting us in boxes, stop with the labels and assumptions, and for fuck's sake, stop treating us with disrespect because we want to fuck you. 

If we want to fuck you, that is. Because right now, I don't want to fuck any of you.

The key to that chastity belt is going to be safely hidden away until I feel respected again. Until I feel appreciated for all I am. 

And the way things are looking, that might be awhile. 

And I can already hear the arguments I'm going to receive on this post. It's my own fault, right? Act like a whore, get treated like a whore?

Yeah, I'm not having that. It's the double-standard, and I'm just not having it. You don't want to be open with your sexuality? That's fine. That is absolutely your prerogative and I will not demean you for it. If that's the choice you make, great! And I mean that. But don't you dare show me any less respect because I choose to be something different, to express myself differently. 

But let me ask you this... If you choose to keep your sexuality under wraps, why are you hanging out in adult places? Where every piece of furniture has adult animations? Places that are advertised as "a secret sex themed society" or "a rich, decadent environment, uniquely themed to lower inhibitions and indulge your secret fantasies" or "an upscale adult lounge for people who want to explore the sensual lifestyle" or the keywords are things like "cock, sex, fuck, cuckold, pussy, blowjob, cum, orgy, BDSM, RLV, +18, daddy/babygirl, porn, master, mistress, submissive, slave, swingers, poly, and erotic", hmm?

Do you want people to think you're a sexually enlightened human without actually being one? Would like to appear to be, but in reality are judging others for actually indulging? Because they're something you wish you could be? You want to be associated with the sexual side of Second Life, yet hold yourself above the rest by saying you're choosy or picky and think that makes you special or different? Do you get off on looking down on others from your lofty perch? 

Okay, enough of this rant. I'm currently encased in a big block of ice and feeling as frigid as Antarctica and pointing fingers like I'm accusing others of doing. 

Shame on me for letting it get to me. Shame on me for allowing any of you to make me feel this way. I'm the one who controls me, and my emotions - and how I choose to deal with them. 

Chances are I won't end up being too proud of this blog post but I needed to get it out in order for me to start chipping away at this ice. 

Because I don't like this chastity belt and I don't like me right now. 




1 comment:

  1. Beth you are still you and allowing the idiots who treated you badly to get under your skin kinda points to you not being a block of ice. Iam in awe of your openness and ability to be honest with yourself and others about who you are and your desires. Anyone not seeing more to you than sex is blind and a bit deaf. You have no reason to be ashamed of this post or your feelings ..we all get hurt when folks are callous, uncaring, idiots , stupid and disrespectful. Any way just wanted to let you know you are amazing and this too will pass : )

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