Thursday, March 10, 2016

That Pesky Friends List

Has anything in SL caused more consternation and fights? "OMG... I can't believe you removed me from your list!"
sigh

I have no issues with telling people I've just met that, no, I won't add them because I just met them, and most are very understanding of that. But how to handle it when you've got people on your list that you haven't spoken to in weeks, months, and you want to remove them? Or people that you realize you've really got very little in common with?
It's not that I don't still consider these people friends... it's more that I hate hearing the damn door opening and closing all the freaking time. Or... having someone on my list that I know won't be logging in again. And that's heartbreaking.
I know I can turn off the sound so I'm not always experiencing slamming and creaking doors but there is a very small group of people who I do want to know when they're logging in and out. I'm often in another window and don't see what's happening in SL so I like to hear it.

So I like to keep my list small.
Right now, it's too big... and it has a grand total of 18 people on it. And I'm about to cull it. There are a couple of women on the list that I adore... but haven't actually spoken to since I added them. Over a year ago.

The only other woman is my dear friend Caity, who I do talk to frequently. I'm not really in SL to have a big group of female friends... I'm here for sex, but Caity is such a wonderful person and friend and I do love having some girl talk with her. She's very special.
So the others on my list are all men. Some former lovers, and yes, a couple that are just friends, and will most likely remain that way. And some who are potential lovers, current lovers, and one I'd like very much to be a lover, though I don't believe he's interested. I like men. I relate better to men. I'm in Second Life to meet men.
There is a feature in SL that I believe isn't used nearly enough. Giving our calling cards to people.

It's simple, easy to do, and is a great way to keep the contact info of people you'd like to stay in touch with without friending them. I'm going to try to start using this more often. When people offer friendship before I'm ready to commit to actually being friends, I will offer my card, and ask for theirs in return.
When was the last time you opened your calling cards folder? I just took a look at mine... and I'm seeing names I haven't thought about in years! I need to do some cleaning and organizing in there, too!

So please don't be insulted when you realize I've removed you from my list. You still have my card, and I still have yours. It doesn't mean I don't ever want to hear from you again... please, if you wish to contact me, feel free to! Anytime! Believe me, if you've been removed because I'm pissed about something, there's a damn good chance that you already know.
So, for those that have been, or are being, removed... I still consider you my friend. I just don't need to know every time you log in and out. :-)

All photos taken in the breathtakingly beautiful gardens at Corruption.


1 comment:

  1. Ah, calling cards... People are often surprised when they hear about them, but it's usually enough to them. Yes, we have to use that feature.

    My list is also small, for a merchant, and I want it to stay that way. Calling cards and contact groups if you use the Firestorm viewer are your friends.

    ReplyDelete

Recent Posts