Monday, February 1, 2016

I'm Moving... in ALL Directions!


Seriously, fuck.

Damn it all to hell.

I lost my place. And I am PISSED.

I've lived on the same land for years in Second Life. Years. And now it's gone. My lovely little three bits of land... my home... all gone. My landlord pulled up stakes and let the sim go. He gave us three days notice... and, though I'm pissed, I really can't play him. He was having trouble keeping good tenants. Stable tenants. And without those, he couldn't make his own payments on the land.

But for the first time in a very long time, I found myself homeless. And it sucked ass packing everything up and leaving. SO MUCH STUFF. My gorgeous bathhouse... my lovely little greenhouse. My beach. The little pond my swans loved so much.
And finding the right spot to replace it? Didn't find it. Still looking a little bit, but I did find a nice spot to land in for a while... maybe for a long time. We'll see. Right now I have a big empty plot. I plopped a house down on it, but I'm having trouble finding the inspiration to decorate. I have a couch and fireplace and my pool table. Haven't even pulled my bed out yet.

I hurt someone, too. Because I'm me, and I'm impetuous and fickle and ridiculous. I found another man, after the other man that came after Hugh. Another really wonderful man... and I threw myself all in without stopping to take a breath.

I have got to stop doing that.

And now, yes, there is yet another man, my third after Hugh. This one... I just refuse to rush it. I'm holding myself back, as much as I can. I like him. He's... so far... pretty awesome. I'm utterly thrilled that he's got other interests in SL other than hanging out in sex clubs looking to fuck. He makes stuff. And he sails. And I'm sure other things, too, that I haven't learned yet. That makes me happy... that he's got other things going on. And a seemingly really nice real life that keeps him content, too.

I'm excited about this guy, and I'm trying really hard not to put the cart before the horse. I still think about Hugh a lot. It doesn't hurt like it used to, though. I just miss him, miss his friendship. This latest gentleman... I can talk to him like I did with Hugh. We have conversations about stuff. I like talking. Just hanging out and talking.
I like sex, too, but I'm really enjoying getting to know this guy aside from all that. Because... gasp... we haven't had the sex yet. I know, right? We've known each other for days now and we still haven't fucked.

And that's pretty damn nice, actually. We're getting to know each other as people before we know each other intimately. Did I mention I like this guy?

I'm still upset about losing my land, though. Just the end to yet another era.

And I still have these fucking stitches in my hand and they still fucking hurt. I want the fucking things out NOW. Tomorrow will be two weeks... I'm hoping I can get one of the nurses at work to pluck them out or I'm liable to do it myself. It is soooo tempting to just grab a little pair of scissors and snip them loose.

I need to find some inspiration, too. Taking photos seems like a chore right now, as does this blog. I think, before, I was taking photos for Hugh. None of these new guys care about photographing, or blogging, so I'm not doing this for them. In a way, for the past two years, all my photos and all my blog posts, were for Hugh. For him to see, for him to read. And I started this blog for myself... same with photography. I need to get back to wanting to do it for me.

Other than all that horseshit, life is pretty good. Family is good, work is good, weather isn't horrible, I've got my fingers crossed that Bernie is going to smash Hillary in Iowa. I love politics and a presidential election year gets me giddy, and I'm very excited about Bernie. Watching the returns now... it's close! And Cruz, as much as I despise him, is beating Trump!

So that's fun. :-)
Uh oh... it occurs to me that I haven't asked newest new guy about his political leanings. The first two were right-wingers and that just isn't going to work for me.

Okay, enough babbling. I need to find my bed in my inventory and get some shut eye. Wonder who I'll be dreaming about tonight?

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