Thursday, September 17, 2015

I Believe in Hope

And I believe in happy.

Those are his words, not mine.  
Though I do certainly share the sentiment.

We're still in limbo, though. Swapping emails when we can, stealing our moments. It's been far too long since I've laid eyes on him. I trust that'll be rectified soon. Soonish. Sometime.
No matter, though. I'm learning patience. He's got to have the time to straighten out the real world. He deserves that time.

And I'm not going anywhere.
I love him. He loves me.

It really is that simple.

There are details to be worked out. Time is our friend.
At the end of the day, I know his arms are around me. When I wake in the morning, I know he's with me. Every hour, every second. I am his as he is mine.

We will overcome this.
In the meantime, SL has lost a bit of his luster. Without him there, it feels very empty and lonely. I don't want to go out, don't want to stay in. I find myself at his place often. I lie in his bed, I bathe in his tub, I swim in his waters. I make sure Snowball isn't too lonely. :-)
And I take photos for him. Some I've shared on Flickr, some are for his eyes only. But every photo I take is with him in mind.

I know he won't forget who I am, who we are, what we have and what we share... but it's nice to send him little reminders of what is waiting for him when he's able to return.
Will it ever be the same? Will we ever go back to the way it was before?

That's still all up in the air. No one knows for certain. It's not an impossibility, though not necessarily a probability.
We are strong. We feed that in each other. We lift each other up. We balance. If anyone can make it, we can.

Of this I am certain.
In the meantime... I reach for him in my dreams, and feel him reaching for me. And we find each other there. And we're able to strip it all away and be us, together. Magic.
Oh my sweet baby, I love you. With every breath, I love you. I love you.
So that's where I am, that's where we are. In the stars, in the ether that binds us together.
We are binary stars... and our center mass is love.

Sounds corny, I know. But we're corny. Two goofy nerds that were drawn together by a force that can't be denied.
That's it. We're in our holding pattern.

And together we believe in hope and happy. And that's not such a bad place to be.

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