Friday, June 12, 2015

Strange Brain Syndrome

The next few days are going to be rough for me, as I did something incredibly stupid.
You see, I spent all my money on lindens to kit myself out in Maitreya stuff budgeted poorly and left myself with no money to afford my happy pill. I could rant and rave here about the state of healthcare in the US, the price of medicine thanks to big pharma, or how sad it is that this lowly nonprofit employee doesn't make enough to afford her medicine.

But, yeah, really... the fault is all my own. Had I not blown my wad on a new body, skin and all sorts of clothing to go with it, I'd have had the cash to afford my happy pill.

Can't change that at the moment, though, so I'm sans pills until Thursday.

And that makes my brain feel very strange indeed. I can go without my happy pill for two days before the oddity starts to kick in. It's very hard to describe what happens... the very weird feeling I get. It's sort of like little waves of vertigo. Everything will be just fine, then my vision goes sort of blurry for a few seconds and it feels a bit like my brain is being squeezed. It's disorientating an discombobulating. If you have migraines and get the auras, it's sort of like that. My brain short circuits.

In addition to the physical weirdness, it doesn't take long for my behavior to change a bit, too. I don't get depressed... I get agitated. Everything frustrates me and I get extremely short tempered.

That's where I am today.

None of it is terribly bad... just weird. It's not an enjoyable feeling at all. It's annoying. Weird.

When I realized I was going to be short of pills for the week, I should have rationed them... made it so I could take one every other day, or every third day even, but I take them early in the morning before I'm even fully awake and I'm so used to doing it I don't even think about it. So when I turned the bottle over and it was empty, I was a little shocked.

And fearful. Because I know what happens when I don't take the pills. I know I'm going to have to fight my way through this feeling of ick, and I know it isn't fair to the people who have to deal with me.

So what I'll do is avoid people as much as possible over the next few days. My body is so accustomed to the medicine that once Thursday arrives and I get the medicine back in my system, things will kick back into normal very quickly. The only downside I'll have is the low libido for a few days- a side affect to pretty much every SSRI and SSNRI out there. It evens out fast and I'll be right as rain within a couple days of restarting my medicine.

I guess, on the flipside, the good part of being off the medicine for a few days means a higher libido than normal. I suspect I'll be masturbating a lot in the coming days... lol. As wiggy as I feel, and as irritable as I feel, I'm all tingly down there even though I'm not especially hungering for sex at the moment.

So yeah... I have Strange Brain Syndrome for a few days. Bear with me, please.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Recent Posts