Sunday, April 19, 2015

Oh What A Week!

So this week went straight to hell in a handbasket.
First off, as some of you may know, I have a brother with cancer. He's recently made the decision to stop the chemo. It's time... the cancer was still spreading and the pain has been unbearable. So now it's just a matter of time. Could be weeks, could be months... we just don't know yet.
He's been living with my sister. She and I have a few (or a thousand) issues but this week, she went completely off the deep end. She kicked him out. KICKED HIM OUT. Because he's messy and he smokes too much.

Um... he's dying. Literally. He will be with us, at best, for a couple more months.

And she kicked him out. Mind you, when he was diagnosed, she stepped in before the rest of us had a chance to say "Oh fuck, cancer" so she could take care of him. He's a slob, yes. A terrible one (as am I) but holy FUCK... he's got a couple months to live. Seriously, the last fucking I'd be concerned about is housework.
And that's assuming that he's physically able to do housework.

And he isn't.

Right now he's living in two states; he's either in horrifying pain, or on enough morphine to fell an elephant. He's able to walk... very slowly, and with a cane. And she wants him doing housework?

What. The. Fuck.
As far as the smoking goes... it's the one thing he's got left. The chemo destroyed his tastebuds. Food tastes nasty. He used to make beautiful, intricate jewelry but his hands are beyond that now. There's no getting any better, so why not let him smoke if it brings him pleasure? And he doesn't smoke inside... he goes outside on her balcony. She flipped out because he nods off and she's afraid he's going to burn the house down. The morphine he's on is an extended release... and when it releases, it's a wonderous whoosh of relief, and it's strong, and it knocks him out for a few seconds.

So here's a novel idea for my sister... keep a fucking eye on him.
So that's been going on and it's still a clusterfuck. He was going to go live with my brother in Chicago and I was all ready to drive him, but he decided to move in with a friend of his who lost his partner to cancer a couple of years ago. That happened yesterday. Today, he texted my sister saying he wanted to come back to her place.

I have no idea what's going to happen. He's going to stay with his friend for a few days so they can take a break from each other and then he'll move back in with my sister. I just don't know what to think.

I just want my brother to spend his last little bit of time comfortable, happy and safe as possible. My sister... she can just fuck right the fuck off. She seems to be completely devoid of empathy and wants all this sympathy from the rest of the family by airing my brother's issues for us all to see. It didn't need to be like that. All she had to say was she needed some help... or something, anything, other than what she did.

I wish that was all of it but I also found out she's been treating my father poorly and I'm just fucking not having it. Her husband of 40+ years has finally got a snootful and has left her. She and her only daughter aren't speaking. She's just fucking bananas and I have no sympathy left to give her. Had I seen her in the last few days, I would have physically hurt her. I'm not a violent person, but I would have lost my shit and knocked her damn teeth down her throat.

Now I've calmed down. I can't stand her and she's not going to be part of my life after my brother is gone. My father has already made his own decision not to see or talk to her anymore.

That's how bad she's been... my sweet, adorable Dad is done with her.
And if that wasn't enough, I came home last night to discover my computer not working. That's all it took to send me right over the edge.

This girl had a righteous screaming, sobbing freak-out. Felt pretty good, actually, to just let it all out. Scared the crap out of the kitties, but then they curled up and snuggled and it was all okay. And I was able to get my computer fixed today (thanks, Geek Squad, for fixing it and not saying anything about the raunchy photos scattered all over my desktop!) and it was cheap and I'm back online.
Well, most of it... there was just one thing left to do to release that last little bit.

bliss

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