Monday, March 9, 2015

Then & Now

This week, Berry has challenged us to show our first blog pic alongside a recent photo.

My blog is less than two years old. The link to the photo is broken on my first post but I think it was a picture of me and an ex and I've no desire to comb through my photos trying to find it again. And if I remember correctly, the main difference between 2013 and now (other than the mesh body) was that I used to always wear long hair.

So I decided to dig back a little further. All my truly early photos are long gone... but I did manage to log into my first avi in SL and grab my profile photo from 2009...

I guess I was going for a dark and sultry look? And so pale! And, damn, did I have some split ends!

The other part of the challenge is about how I've changed since I first started blogging and taking photos. For photos... mainly, I have a much better computer now and have learned some basic editing skills. And how to use poses! I still just snap whatever I think looks good. I don't really put much effort into setting up shots. I never spend more than 2 or 3 minutes editing a photo. 

Blogging-wise... I'm still the same. A storyteller... and diarist. Snippets of whatever is on my mind at the moment. I don't put a lot of thought into it and I rarely edit beyond making sure the photos fit and I don't have any (many) typos. 

I'm a very different person now so I'm sure that comes across in my writing. I'm a much happier, content individual now, in RL and in SL. I'm looking at that old photo now and realizing that was taken just about a year after I lost my mom. I was still trying to figure out how to live life without my very best friend and most stabilizing influence. It's probably only visible to me, but I see now that I was trying to create someone who wasn't me. I was hiding from being Beth.

My sister in law told me when Mom died that if a woman can survive losing her mother, she can survive anything. Looking at 2015 me, I see a woman who survived. I'm a human being my mom would be proud of. And I love that. I love me. 2009 Beth didn't love herself very much...

Strawberry also challenged us to give the #DearMe initiative a go... what would I say to my teenage self? Oh, so much... but I'll try to keep it short.


YOU are a weirdo. A wonderful, intelligent, funny, beautiful weirdo. And all these asshats in your high school trying to bring you down? Well, me, you're trapped, for now, in a town of 12,000 people. But you won't be forever... you're going to spread your wings and fly and you're going to encounter lots of other wonderful, intelligent, funny, beautiful weirdos and these people bullying you and teasing you for being different are going to find themselves trapped in that same small town 30 years from now, on their 2nd or 3rd unhappy marriage, working in a factory with a bunch of ungrateful kids (and grandkids) and you, my dear, are going to see the world! So keep your chin up, beautiful girl, and let your freak flag fly! You are full of so much awesome. There will be bad times, and good times, and heartache and disaster and love and joy. You have SUCH amazing things ahead of you!

I love you,

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for doing the #DearMe challenge as well, loved what you said. <3


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