Friday, May 23, 2014

Wish You Were Here

We're just two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl...
Something else has been on my mind lately... something other than, believe it or not, Hugh. :-)

What is the proper way to act, or react, when someone leaves Second Life? 

You see, my other fella is taking a bit of a leave. For how long? I have no idea. I know he's got some RL stuff that has to have his attention right now... so please don't take this as me sounding like a harpy. RL comes first, always. Has to. Should. Always.

However... having said that... we're not even having email communications at this point. Busy is busy, yes, but I find it difficult to believe that he doesn't have a moment or two every few days while he's sitting on the can and fiddling with his phone.

Come on, I know I'm not the only one who does that. ;-)
Anyway, I'm left very unsure of my place in his life. I mean, I know my place in his life is in Second Life... and I know he's not expecting me to be sitting around waiting on him to come back and I strongly suspect that this is partly his intent in taking a Second Life sabbatical.

I'm certainly not sitting around. I'm so freaking goofy over Hugh right now that I'm constantly floating several inches off the ground, and my dear friend, the wickedly wonderful and talented Ellie Rogue has taken mercy on me and is using her vast knowledge and eye for decoration, building and terraforming to transfer my little corner of Second Life into the most blissful oasis in SL. 

You see, life is moving on. And every bit of it that happens and I can't share it with him, the further he slips away. I suppose it's inevitable- out of sight, out of mind and all that.

So while I'm not wasting away fretting over losing him, I do very much hate that it's happening. 

I know he's going to come back... and what are his expectations going to be when it comes to me? Does he think we'll be able to pick up where we left off? I can't do that. I'm not going to lie... I'm pissed the fuck off at the complete lack of communication. And the distance is there now. It just is. Life moves, things happen, people come in and out of our worlds. 
He's a strange guy... He's one of the oldest SLers I know. Nearly 10 years in inworld. And he has a ton of friends that he's known for years and years. Most of them, I think, are former lovers that he's moved on from and continues to be friends, or acquaintances, with. It's a point of pride with him and he's told me time and time again that he will be my friend for years and years and years. To me, that seems like a consolation prize mixed in with a bit of condescension. I didn't hook up with him to be just a friend and when our time as lovers has passed (and has it already?) who says I'm willing to be just another in his long line of conquests that remain at his beck and call?

This isn't the first time he's ducked out on SL for a while. It happens... SL becomes an obligation instead of something fun and you have to leave for a while to maintain your sanity. I've done it. I'm six years in now and there was a period of over a year that I was gone. Living in two worlds can be exhausting, especially when you're a grown-up and have responsibilities like bills, and food, and mortgages or rent, and jobs, etc. 

Second Life should be an escape from all that. And when it starts becoming one of those burdens, you just have to put it aside for a while. And when it can be fun again, we can come back.

But what about those we leave hanging when we do that?

I don't think there's a good answer. I can't ask him to come back or, you know, send me daily emails to let me know he's a) still alive and b) still thinking about (and loving) me. And he can't ask me to not move on from him because that's going to happen whether we like it or not.

Did you know he gave me a ring? Back when we first started dating. Not an engagement ring or anything like that... just a really lovely you-mean-something-very-special-to-me ring. It meant we were connected. And we're not anymore... and I had to take it off. Hated doing it, but I did. 

I can't know what's going to happen when he comes back until he actually comes back. I know that if he wants to keep me, he's going to have to put some effort into it. 
Do I still love him? Yes, unquestionably. But has the distance become so great that, in my mind, it can't be overcome? Like I said, I'm pissed that he's disappeared not just from SL, but from my email as well. I don't begrudge him his hiatus. I do find it ridiculous that he can't answer an email. 

Ah, hell... I don't know. It's late at night and I'm fighting sleep because I'm on a mini-vacation and, damn it, I'm supposed to stay up late but I'm drifting... 

There are questions only he can answer, but I feel like trying to ask him would be perceived as me being a shrew. The fact that I feel that would should be a clue, eh? 

Oh well... too tired to worry about that tonight. 

After all, tomorrow is another day. ;-)


Sunday, May 18, 2014

An Homage...

There is something very odd happening to me.
Honestly, this hasn't happened before.

I keep falling in love.

And what's new about that, you ask?

I fall in love all the time, don't I?

Yeah... but not with the same guy.
But I suddenly find myself, here on the cusp of my four month anniversary with Hugh, falling in love with him anew every single day.

I can't explain it... I'm absolutely at a loss for words. I fall asleep every single night filled with this inexplicable joy.

And every single morning, I wake up and my heart, already filled to bursting, begins beating a new staccato rhythm... and it's intrinsically linked to this man.
And, I'm sorry, but I just simply can't keep it to myself.

I love this man. I love him. Every time I think it's impossible to love him more, there it is. Beautiful. Weightless. Ethereal. Rapturous.

An entire host of adjectives that have no word in human form as of yet.

Why? What's so special about this guy, him above all others?

Everything. Simply everything.
It's not what he gives me... it's not any action, or words... it's just him. It's the man he is.

It's the way he laughs with me. His silent, and sometimes not-so-silent, encouragement and approval of the woman I am. The creature I am. His unwavering acceptance of me. All of me.

The way he makes love to me.
Hugh gets credit for this photo... he took it. I was too orgasmic to snap.
The way he fucks me.

The way he cups my cheek and just stares, as lost for words as I am. It's tangible. We glow.

I realized last night that every single moment we're together, there is a smile on my face... RL and SL. I'm sitting at my keyboard in my ratty pajamas with no makeup and my hair knotted on top of my head in a messy bun... just grinning like a damned fool.

Because of this man.
His presence on this planet, in this universe, gives me such joy. Every breath he takes... twenty four hours a day, seven days a week... every single breath of air this man draws into his lungs makes the sun shine a bit brighter. It makes the grass a more vibrant shade of green. The birds chirp a wee bit louder. Lightning flashes more brilliantly. The rain falls to earth simply to join with the ground his feet are on.

The world is a better place because he exists. He doesn't have to do a single thing except just be and elation fills my soul.
How damn lucky am I? This man loves me.

I know that what we have has to be contained within Second Life. We both know this, and it works quite well for us. Beth in the real world is not a woman who can sustain a relationship, nor does she want to. My life, at 44, is very settled, thankyouverymuch, and the thought of changing that gives me the heeby-jeebies. That is way too scary. Too many unknowns, too many factors, too much trouble.
I know my place, and my meaning, in the real world. It's a good place and my meaning is... unexplainable, but I know it's important.

But I've longed to have that one person... that one intimate soul that loves me. Anyone who's read this blog knows that. SL Beth and RL Beth... we come together as one and the same when it comes to that.
There is just something about this man... this one particular man. This masculine, mature voice of reason... this delightful little boy that can be as goofy as a puppy. We toe the line together, and we cross it together. Hand in hand, fingers entwined. Smiles on our faces.
Separate, but together. Not partnered, but partnered in the ways that matter. He has his life, I have mine... in world and out. We have our freedom, but the bond is unbreakable.

I'll most certainly love others, as will he. But that's tomorrow. Today is today.

But I know that no matter what comes next for either of us... through miles and years and whatever gets thrown our way, this thing we have... this amazing love... it's always going to be there, somewhere, in both our hearts.
And it's utterly magnificent.

Sexy Second Life

I had a request!

Someone asked me to do a blog post about my very favorite places to go on sexy dates. Thanks for the great ideas, Ellie! This one's for you!

There are some incredible places in Second Life and I know I'm just touching on the very tip of what's available. Some of these places have very special meaning to me... some I just find beautiful. One of the great things about SL is that you can find anything to suit your tastes. When it comes to sex spots, the choices are pretty endless.

Of course, there are the ones where the noobs tend to congregate.
Not gonna lie... I used to spend my time at plenty of those! One of my first hang-outs in SL was Skinny Dip Inn.
Popped by for a visit today... I was greeted with some guy yelling at me, "if nobody im you that means there are guys in girls avi! and you are wasting your time here!" Er... okay?

I met one of my very first SL boyfriends there. He was just as scummy as most of the dweebs hanging out there.

And Bukkake Bliss... Jesus, what a terrible name.
I have no idea what's happening here. Some sort of emitters started spewing shit at me, and someone started spamming me with FREE IPHONE TEXTURES. I ducked out before things rezzed.

Some others that are long gone, others whose names I've long forgotten.

Nowadays, I like to think I've found some, er... classier joints? The best places are those that charge a fee for membership. It helps weed out the icky folks, and gives the owners some dough to keep the place looking great, and filled with the best sex furniture in SL, I think.

Anyhoo... on with the tour of my favorite places to have sex in Second Life!

These are in alphabetical order... not in order of my preference!

First up is Basilique. This is a members only club and it's just gorgeous. Not to mention, they have the playhouse where they put on just amazing shows like Romeo and Juliet, and their current show, Paradise Lost.
I confess, I haven't spent a lot of time here, but I love it. It's sensual and decadent and all the things I love about Second Life. 
Next up is Creamy's Spot. It's less a "spot" and more like a series of gorgeous, and very naughty, settings to whet your appetite AND sate your desires. It's themed to be a BDSM spot, and there are plenty of places to get your kink on, but it's also romantic and there are plenty of offerings that cater to your more vanilla side. 
A monastery, a police department, the office, a temple, a ballroom, a truly sumptuous orgy suite... if you can't find someplace wicked and wonderful to have sex at Creamy's, you just really don't want to have sex! These photos were taken in the wine cellar, one of my most favorite spots... 
And the Nag's Head, a very naughty little British pub. You must have a membership here to use the furniture... when I joined, there was no fee but I do believe they might have a minimal join fee now.
I do love Creamy's.

And that brings us to the Cyprian Garden. Billed as "a stunningly beautiful BDSM playground", much like Creamy's, it can be utterly depraved or a deliciously romantic spot for a sweet little tryst. 
The Cyprian Garden, I think, is one of SL's best undiscovered naughty places. There is rarely anyone around and I'm not sure why. It's simply gorgeous. As far as outdoor garden settings go, I don't think it can be beat. The owners have done a magnificent job of creating one of the most beautiful places in Second Life. 
My photos can't do it justice.
You just have to go and wander around yourself. And, yes, the wandering is much more fun if you bring a friend, or two, or three, along!


Syn and friends have created this magnificent homage to sex and it's absolutely wonderful! 
Syn throws the best parties in Second Life... there is a new theme each week and the builds she creates for the parties have to be seen to be believed. There is also a monthly burlesque event in the Luxe and it's my favorite in Second Life. 
You have to join and pay a fee... and it's worth every linden. I adore this place, and the wonderful people I've met there. Always friendly, always funny, and always intelligent. This is, as you all well know, something severely lacking in most sexy spots in SL. You won't be harassed with the "u fuk me" guys here! 
It's beautiful, it's kinky, it's just... it's Elysion. A place of perfect bliss.

Naked... Oh, how I love Naked! Billing itself as a "surprising nudist resort", it's erotic and peaceful and beautiful and has a particularly special place in my heart. You see, they have a wonderful art gallery (you don't have to be naked to visit the gallery, but must be sans clothing in all other areas). My dear friend and fabulous photographer Almost Finished had a show there a few months ago and he displayed a gorgeous photo he took of me. While I was checking out his show, little did I know that someone else spotted me... 
My dearest darling Hugh, the light and love of my life. I credit Naked, and Almost, for bringing this incredible man into my world, and as such, it will always be at the top of my favorite places in Second Life. I'm such a sap... 
Naked has a companion spot called Naked Bondage for your kinkier desires. Not built for men, Naked Bondage was inspired by Anais Nin and her "desire to be a free, independent woman who craves sexual domination". There is a small join fee, as there also is for Naked, to keep the dorks out. 
It is a safe, but lewd and utterly sinful, place for strong, intelligent women who ache for domination from men. Women are to be respected, but used to sate a man's every sexual need. Being the kinky whore I am, I fucking love it.

Finally, there is Teqi's Lounge. Teqi's is pretty much legendary in the circles of Second Life sex. Once again, this is a place that has some very special meaning to me. 
I was standing in this very spot (although it was in her old location, before the jackass griefer that targeted Teqi launched his attack) when I spotted a man quite literally running across the club straight at me. Before he could plow me down, I TPed out. I wasn't sure if he was actually coming at me, or had just tripped over the sim crossing (which, thankfully, isn't there in her new spot)! Turns out he was running at me, and it was Mick, my other love. It was a memorable meeting, to say the very least, and a hell of a first impression! 
One of the great things about Teqi's is that it is almost always full. It's free, but the regulars will dispatch idiots before they can cause too much trouble and Teqi has a low tolerance for trouble-makers. Whether you're on the hunt for a quickie, an exhibitionist or a voyeur, Teqi's has something for you. She has unique furniture and animations you won't find anywhere else in SL.It's fun, it's naughty, and I love it.

My other favorite places? Well, home is where the heart is, right? Firstly, Hugh's home. 
Sorry, baby... snuck in while you were out!
When it comes to the best places to have sex in SL, the setting matters less than who you are with. 
Hugh's home is my second home. My best memories? The most intense, loving and powerful sex in Second Life? Right here. Hugh's place is my safe harbor. It's where I'm always welcomed with open arms and a heart full of love, and laughter, and light, and so much joy I can't contain it.

And then there's Mick's Rock.
Mr. Super Private is taking a break and when I visit when he's not home, I land on the beach thousands of meters below his house, but you can see plenty of photos of his place in some of my past blog posts.

Mick's not really one for exhibitionism. When I'm with him, there is absolutely no place I'd rather be than his home. It's dark, and quiet, and it's all Mick. It's where he lets down his guard, and let's me in.

I also love my own place... there have been plenty of memories created in my little corner of Second Life, too! 
I've been in the same place for nearly a year now. First, I had my platform in the sky. A little house in the clouds where I'd hide out when things with Rob got ugly. Then, along with my house, I build the Naughty Box... a skybox filled with the a wide variety of playthings. This was where Zach and I usually ended up... and my god, that man is a lover and we had so many erotic, fabulous encounters there! 

Then Ark moved in when we met. I ended up getting rid of the naughty box and built a winter wonderland in the sky for our Christmas, and eventually, tore the whole thing down and moved to ground level and created my beachside paradise... filled it with animals and love.

Ark tried to spoil it for me after we split up by sneaking his new chick in and banging in my bed. Didn't work. It's my home... my sanctuary... my inner sanctum. It's whatever I want it to be, with whoever I want to share it with. Hugh and Mick and I have had our naughty threesomes here. There have been arguments, and tears, and laughter and happiness and memory upon memory has been made. 
It's my favorite place to bring my special lovers and share my life with them.

Well, my friends, there you have it. Beth's Favorite Sexy Spots! There are some places on my list I haven't had a chance to visit yet, or spend enough time at to form enough of an opinion to talk about... Commune Utopia being one that springs to mind and Ash's Tierra de Fuego (and the Gagged Bear!) being another. 

I'm sure there are tons more that I don't know about... please share your favorite places with me! I love to explore... and as you well know, my tastes are pretty lewd. So tell me, where do YOU go when exploring the sexy side of Second Life?

Friday, May 2, 2014

So...

I hear you asking, "What's going on with that Beth Macbain?"
Or maybe that's not you... maybe it's the voices in my head.

KIDDING! I don't really hear voices. Often.
Anyway... what's going on with me?

Nothing, that's what. Not a bloody thing.
I'm in one of those places... the ones we all find ourselves in every once in a while where we try to remember all the fun, cool things that brought us to SL in the first place.
I'm sure a lot of my Second Life ennui has to do with the fact that spring finally arrived in the real world and quite frankly, I've been venturing out a lot into that scary place known as the "outdoors". It's really quite lovely out there! The flowers might not be quite as perfect as they are in SL, but they smell better! Pretty, even! And there are baby birds and butterflies and ladybugs and soon there will be fireflies!
I'm also in a lovely place in SL where my life is quite content. I've got my Hugh and I've got my Mick and it's all cozy and comfy and I feel quite adorably loved.
As you all well know, I'm absolutely not used to that feeling! And I'm not really sure what to do with it. They don't have to pursue me, and I don't have to pursue them. They've got me- hook, line and sinker.
So what comes next? Are there challenges? Is this a challenge?

One of them once told me that I'm the girl who suddenly has everything she wants and doesn't know what to do with it.
And that's exactly right... I don't know what to do. I'm so used to having to work so hard to keep a relationship going, and the fire lit, that I'm not certain how I'm supposed to act now. Both of these fellas have stuck with me through all my neuroses and didn't let me go.
It's awesome... and it's exactly what I've always hoped to find in SL. And I have it with not just one guy, but two extraordinarily wonderful men. Inside and out.
I'm used to being a Second Life whore. And I could still be... neither of these guys are going to stop me from going out and banging my way through Second Life. I did have a pretty hot little affair that lasted a week or so but the feelings I had just weren't the same, and I knew they weren't going to develop into anything like I feel for the two men I have. It was feeling like an obligation instead of fun and you know that's when it's time to back away and I did.
I actually considered taking a break from SL for a bit to let my head clear, but I keep finding myself back here. I do enjoy going to listen to live music in SL and I'm trying to get back into my photography... and god knows I don't want to lose Hugh or Mick!
I'm also having this little orgasm problem. Actually, I think it's more an allergy problem than an orgasm problem but it's manifested itself in a very rotten way. I live in the seasonal allergy capital of the US and as beautiful as it is here in Kentucky in the springtime, it's a bitch for allergy sufferers. You see, whenever I get aroused and start getting close to the point of orgasm, I get a throbbing, stabbing headache behind my right eye. To the point where I have to stop. And then I'm left with a headache AND sexually frustrated. Hugh helped me overcome it for a while last weekend, with the help of a Vicodin.
And I thought, yay, I'm cured! Until I tried to have some special alone time last night before I went to bed... and BOOM... headache. I'm very unhappy about the situation and am sort of trying to avoid much arousal until I get myself fixed.
So what's next? What do you guys do when you're looking for something new and fun in SL?

Or, you know, let me know if you know any good cures for sex headaches!
(And now I have to put an addendum on this post! After I finished writing, I got to spend a few hours with Hugh... and the man is a miracle! Headache? Nope. Nothing but bliss! Not sure how he does it, as long as he never, ever stops! I am a lucky, lucky woman!)

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