Thursday, November 7, 2013

Thank You

I'm okay.

I didn't expect such an outpouring of support, but I truly do appreciate it. I may not have a lot of blog readers, but the ones I do have are the absolute best! I love and adore every one of you!

I took today off work so I could just sleep and take care of me. It's a beautiful sunny day and instead of lying in bed feeling pitiful, I'm up enjoying the world.

So... I'm okay. Or will be okay. I guess I bottomed out yesterday and now the only way to go is up. I woke up and starting singing to the cats and knew today was going to be a good day.

I thought about a lot of things over the past few days when I was feeling so dark. Trying to change who I am... decided at one point to put up my all my walls and just be cold to everyone I encounter so I can never get hurt again.

That's just not me. I can't be that person. I love to care for others. To nurture and embrace them. Treat others like you want to be treated, right? There's nothing wrong with being who I am. I've got a lot of great qualities and if people don't want to experience that, well... yes, that is their loss.

I'm not worthless and I'm not a whore. I'm sexual, yes, but NOT a whore. I give of myself in every encounter I have... SL and RL, and that's a lovely thing to do, and a lovely person to be.

Oh, hello, brain. I'm glad you're back under my control!

One last thing. I touched on this briefly yesterday but let me emphasize it again.

If you are suffering from depression, and I heard from a few of you who are, get help. It's out there. And it works. There is no reason to keep suffering. It doesn't matter if you're 14 or 44 or 84. Don't wait another day. The world can be horribly ugly, yes... but it's also full of beauty and wonder. Get the help you need to be able to experience life with clarity and grace and joy.

It's an amazing thing when the blinders of depression fall away and you become part of the brilliance that is living a full life.

So do it. Now. Pick up the phone. Call your doctor. They will direct you to the best resources. Do it now! You ARE worth it.

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