Sunday, September 22, 2013

I Need To Be Committed

I'm pretty out there with my emotions. When I care about someone, I want to show it in every way I can... shout it from mountain tops, write it across the sky in big letters... or, in SL parlance, put it on my profile.

I adore my dude. He's a big strong alpha male. A manly man's man. Gives me shivers to think about.

However, as such, he's pretty stoic and reserved with his feelings and they way he expresses them. I have no doubt that he cares for me deeply and that in his heart, he's totally committed to me.

But he won't put me on his profile. Or a ring on my finger but that's a much bigger commitment and I fully support him not doing that until he's damn good and ready.

I'm hurt and disappointed, though, that I can't get a mention on his profile. How stupid is that? How very girly and hormonal and temperamental?

I own that. I accept it. I'm being unreasonable. He's so freaking wonderful in a billion different ways but he's just not a grand gesture kind of guy.

But I'm fucking awesome. I kind of feel like a deserve a grand gesture or two. Or at least some compromise.

So that's my struggle today. I'm working on it. Trying to evolve and accept. Lowering my expectations.

Fuck.

I guess I'll make my own grand gestures. Doesn't get much grander than an elephant, does it?


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